


The Chaos Chronicles: Book 3

by The_Rarest_Sexiest_Coinkydink



Series: The Chaos Chronicles [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Mystery, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29849958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Rarest_Sexiest_Coinkydink/pseuds/The_Rarest_Sexiest_Coinkydink
Summary: Both the Doctor and Eris are hurting after the loss of Rose. Then, the one and only Martha Jones comes along - can she help soothe their pain? There are bigger surprises in store for the adventurers, though; things aren't right, and Eris can feel it. Something is coming. And it could change her life forever.Just so you're aware, I'll only be putting an authors note on chapters if I really need to here, although over on fanfiction.net I include a small one with every chapter.
Series: The Chaos Chronicles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2184360





	1. The Runaway Bride

**Author's Note:**

> Well, hello there! Isn't this a pleasant surprise! Welcome to Book 3 of The Chaos Chronicles! And boy, do I have some interesting things planned for this one. 
> 
> Now, if you haven't read book 1 and 2 yet, it's probably best to do that now. Otherwise you won't have a clue what's going on here. This message doesn't apply to time travellers, of course. Wibbly wobbly timey wimey, and all that - you've probably already read book 8, or something like that. Hello if you're from the future! That's pretty cool. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this first chapter, and that you end it looking forward to the rest of the book.
> 
> Much love, 
> 
> Azzie xx 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Doctor Who. I'm a 19 year old medical student, I'm obviously not that rich. Would be cool if I did though. Anyway, all I own is Eris and my own plot points.

“What?”   
The ginger woman looked utterly gobsmacked.   
“Who are you?”  
“But-”  
“Where am I?”  
“What?”  
“What the hell is this place?”  
The Doctor was baffled.   
“What? You can't do that. I wasn't. We're in flight. That is, that is physically impossible! How did-”  
“Tell me where I am. I demand you tell me right now where am I?”  
Eris sounded much calmer than she really was, trying to keep the situation under control.  
“Inside the Tardis.”  
“The what?”  
“The Tardis.”  
“The what?”  
“The Tardis!”  
“The what?”  
The Doctor pointed back at the console.  
“It's called the Tardis.”  
“That's not even a proper word. You're just saying things.”   
“How did you get in here?”  
“Well, obviously, when you kidnapped me. Who was it? Who's paying you? Is it Nerys? Oh my God, she's finally got me back. This has got Nerys written all over it.”  
The Doctor pulled a face. “Who the hell is Nerys?”  
“Your best friend.”   
Eris snorted. “I think you’ll find that I’m his best friend, actually.”   
He had finally noticed the outfit their guest was wearing.  
“Hold on, wait a minute. What are you dressed like that for?”  
Sarcasm dripped from the bride’s tone.  
“I'm going ten pin bowling. Why do you think, dumbo? I was halfway up the aisle! I've been waiting all my life for this. I was just seconds away, and then you, I don't know, you drugged me or something!”   
“I haven't done anything!”  
“I'm having the police on you! Me and my husband, as soon as he is my husband, we're going to sue the living backside off you!”   
As the Doctor turned back to the console, she went for the doors, and Eris panicked.   
“Dad! Air bubble!”   
He tried to warn the woman.   
“No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Don't!”   
But she’d already opened the doors. Outside was a glorious view of a gaseous nebula, all pinks and blues. Very clearly nowhere near Earth. She was totally speechless as the ship’s usual inhabitants joined her.   
“You're in space. Outer space. This is my space ship. It's called the Tardis.”   
“How am I breathing?”  
The Doctor patted the doorframe. “The Tardis is protecting us.”  
She looked at him warily. “Who are you?”  
“I'm the Doctor.”   
Eris smiled softly. “I’m Eris. Who are you?”   
“Donna.”   
“Human?”  
“Yeah. Is that optional?”  
The Doctor shrugged. “Well, it is for me.”  
“You're an alien.” She said it with flat acceptance, which was better than the outrage they’d been expecting.   
“Yeah.”   
Donna sniffed slightly.   
“It's freezing with these doors open.”   
So the Doctor pulled the doors shut again, and headed back to the console. 

He started rambling on again.   
“I don't understand that and I understand everything.”   
Eris scoffed. “Clearly not.”  
“Hush, thinking. This - this can't happen! There is no way a human being can lock itself onto the Tardis and transport itself inside. It must be-”   
Grabbing an ophthalmoscope from somewhere under the console, he stared into Donna’s eyes.   
“Impossible. Some sort of subatomic connection? Something in the temporal field? Maybe something pulling you into alignment with the Chronon shell. Maybe something macro mining your DNA within the interior matrix. Maybe a genetic-”  
He didn’t get to finish his sentence. Donna had raised her left hand, and slapped him hard in the face.   
He looked affronted - partly due to the attack, partly due to Eris doubled over laughing in the corner.  
“What was that for?”  
“Get me to the church!” She roared.   
“Right! Fine! I don't want you here anyway! Where is this wedding?”  
“Saint Mary's, Hayden Road, Chiswick, London, England, Earth, the Solar System.” Spotting a blue and purple blouse hanging over a nearby railing, she grabbed it and waved it in the Doctor’s face accusingly. “I knew it, acting all innocent. I'm not the first, am I? How many women have you abducted?”   
When he saw the item in her hands, the entire mood in the Tardis changed. Eris’ laughter stopped immediately, and without it the whole room felt a little colder.   
“That's my friend's.”  
“Where is she, then? Popped out for a space walk?”  
Eris’ voice was quiet as she stepped over to hold her dad’s hand. “She's gone.”  
“Gone where?”  
The Doctor’s face was blank.   
“I lost her.”  
“Well, you can hurry up and lose me!” Then, she properly registered their reactions, and realised that this was clearly a painful topic for the two of them.  
“How do you mean, lost?”   
He avoided the question, tossing the blouse through a doorway.   
“Right, Chiswick.”

They eventually landed, and Donna burst out of the Tardis, only to find herself in a small courtyard surrounded by buildings.   
“I said, Saint Mary's. What sort of Martian are you? Where's this?”   
As usual, the Doctor wasn’t really listening.   
“Something's wrong with her. The Tardis, it's like she's recalibrating! She's digesting. What is it? What have you eaten? What's wrong? Donna? You've really got to think. Is there anything that might've caused this?”   
But now she wasn’t listening either, walking around the outside of the Tardis in a mix of shock and fear.   
“Anything you might've done? Any sort of alien contacts? I can't let you go wandering off. What if you're dangerous. I mean, have you, have you seen lights in the sky, or did you touch something like something, something different, something strange? Or something made out of a, box of metal or. Who're you getting married to? Are you sure he's human? He's not a bit overweight with a zip around his forehead, is he? Donna!” 

Outside was having a hard time holding back tears.   
“Donna.” Eris had followed her out.   
“Leave me alone. I just want to get married.”  
The Doctor caught up with them. “Come back to the Tardis.”  
“No way. That box is too weird.”  
“It's bigger on the inside, that's all.”  
“Oh! That's all? Ten past three. I'm going to miss it.”  
“You can phone them. Tell them where you are.”  
“How do I do that?”  
“Haven't you got a mobile?”  
A vessel popped in Donna’s temple.  
“I'm in my wedding dress. It doesn't have pockets. Who has pockets? Have you ever seen a bride with pockets? When I went to my fitting at Chez Alison, the one thing I forgot to say is give me pockets!”   
Eris smothered a laugh, and the Doctor tried to recover the situation.   
“This man you're marrying. What's his name?”   
Donna smiled fondly. “Lance.”  
“Good luck, Lance.”  
“Oi! No stupid Martian is going to stop me from getting married. To hell with you!”   
She marched off, and the Doctor despaired at the giggles Eris was incapable of holding back.  
“I'm, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not from Mars.”

Out on the high street, the two of them did their best to help Donna hail a cab. They weren’t having much success.   
“Taxi! Why's his light on?”  
“There's another one!”  
“Taxi! Oi!”  
“There's one!”  
“Oi!”  
The Doctor raised an eyebrow. “Do you have this effect on everyone? Why aren't they stopping?”  
One car drove past, full of young men howling with laughter.   
“They think I'm in fancy dress.”  
Then, another. “Stay off the sauce, darling!”  
“They think I'm drunk.”  
Yet another. “You're fooling no one, mate!”  
“They think I'm in drag!”   
Eris groaned. “Hold on, hold on. Let me try.” And she put her fingers to her lips and produced a very piercing whistle - loud enough to make one taxi driver turn around and come to a stop beside them.   
The Doctor looked impressed.   
“Where did you learn to do that?”   
“Tegan taught me, ages back!”   
“Oh, well, I’m not surprised that it was her.”   
They got into the taxi with Donna.   
“Saint Mary's in Chiswick, just off Hayden Road. It's an emergency. I'm getting married. Just hurry up!”   
The driver turned back to look at them.   
“You know it'll cost you, sweetheart? Double rates today.”  
“Oh, my God. Have you got any money?”  
The Doctor patted his pockets briefly. “Er, no. Eris?”   
She snorted. “Don’t look at me, if I want something I pickpocket it.”   
He rolled his eyes, and looked at Donna again.   
“Haven’t you got any.”   
Her one word response was pretty clear.   
“Pockets!” 

The taxi driver tossed them back out onto the street where he’d picked them up, Eris becoming quite amused by the fact that Donna was turning the air blue around them.   
“And that goes double for your mother! I'll have him. I've got his number. I'll have him. Talk about the Christmas spirit.”  
The Doctor blinked. “Is it Christmas?”  
“Well, duh. Maybe not on Mars, but here it's Christmas Eve. Phone box! We can reverse the charges!”   
As they ran to the nearest phone box, Eris had to ask.   
“How come you're getting married on Christmas Eve?”  
Donna pulled a face. “Can't bear it. I hate Christmas. Honeymoon, Morocco. Sunshine, lovely. What's the operator? I've not done this in years. What do you dial? 100?”  
Huffing, the Doctor pulled out the sonic and aimed it at the phone, bringing up the dial tone.   
“Just call the direct.”  
“What did you do?”  
“Something... Martian. Now phone. We'll get money!”  
He dragged Eris towards the nearest ATM - although he soon wished he’d left her with Donna when she started teasing him for being impatient with the man in front. When they finally got to it, he sonicked it and grabbed a handful of money, before turning to find Donna again.   
But she had other ideas.   
“Excuse me. I'm begging you. I'm getting married, I really am and I'm late and I just need to borrow a tenner and I'll pay you back, I promise and it's Christmas.”   
As they watched, Donna hailed a taxi and made a rather rude gesture at them from the other side of the road.   
“Taxi! St Mary's Chiswick. Thanks for nothing, spaceman! I'll see you in Court.”   
Eris’ eyes widened, seeing that the taxi was being driven by a Santa - one that looked very similar to those in the marching band down the street, and exactly like the ones that had bothered them the Christmas before.   
“Donna!”   
Too late - she’d been driven away.   
The band of Santas was getting closer, instruments raised. When Eris pointed this out, the Doctor aimed the sonic at the STM again, causing a flurry of banknotes to fly out of it. Naturally, everyone in the street rushed to it, unable to resist the idea of free money, and they formed a barrier that gave the duo enough time to leg it back to the Tardis. 

Finally in a taxi, Donna thanked the driver profusely.   
“I promise you, mate, I'll give you the rest when we get there. Oh, I look a mess.”   
She didn’t get a response, but wasn’t too worried. She was far more concerned about taking off her wedding veil and fixing her hair.   
“Hurry up.”   
After a few minutes, though, she noticed something that made her uneasy.   
“Hold on a minute. I said Chiswick. You've missed the turning. Excuse me, we should've turned off back there. We're going the wrong way!”   
Still, the driver didn’t answer.   
“What the hell are you doing? I'm late for the wedding. My own wedding. Do you get that? Turn around! Turn this cab around right now! Are you deaf or what?”   
She tugged at the Santa hood, and the mask fell off - revealing the sleek golden face of a robot with slanted black eyes.   
“Oh, my God.”   
Her desperation grew as the window lock refused to budge. The next thing she tried was hitting the side and rear windows, hoping to get the attention of the other drivers or their passengers   
“Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me! Get me out! Help me! Help me! I'm being driven by a robot!”   
No luck.   
But then, a flash of blue caught her eye, and she turned to look through the window again. 

“You are kidding me.”   
Donna gaped as the Tardis appeared in the air a little way behind the taxi, weaving through the other cars on the motorway with surprising ease. It pulled up alongside the taxi, and the doors opened to reveal the Doctor, struggling against the wind to hold the doors back. She could just about see Eris back at the console, stretching herself across the panels to keep the ship stable.   
The Doctor shouted something to her, but she couldn’t quite hear what he was saying.   
“Open the door!”  
“Do what?”  
“Open the door!”  
“I can't, it's locked!”   
Pointing the sonic at the door, he managed to disengage the window lock.   
Donna’s eyes were wide with fear. “Santa's a robot.”  
“Donna, open the door.”  
“What for?”  
“You've got to jump!”  
“I'm not blinking, flipping jumping. I'm supposed to be getting married!”   
Noticing the interaction occurring, the robot driving the taxi stomped on the accelerator and sent the taxi speeding down the road. The Doctor called back to Eris.   
“We need to go forward! Try thirty metres, then maintain!”   
She nodded, straining to get the Tardis to do what they wanted. After bouncing off the roof of a car, they pulled level with the taxi again.   
The Doctor leant out of the doors again.   
“Listen to me. You've got to jump.”  
Donna clung tightly to the back of the passenger seat.  
“I'm not jumping on a motorway.”  
“Whatever that thing is, it needs you. And whatever it needs you for, it's not good! Now, come on!”  
“I'm in my wedding dress!”  
“Yes, you look lovely! Come on!”   
Shaking, she opened the car door, and the Doctor reached out a hand.   
“I can't do it.”   
Suddenly, something on the console exploded violently, and Eris cried out as a sheet of flame washed over her hands. Before the Doctor could turn to check on her, she called to him.   
“I’m okay, but you need to hurry up. I can’t keep this up much longer!”   
He nodded, and pleaded with Donna again.   
“Trust me. Please, we don’t have long.”   
“Is that what you said to her? Your friend? The one you lost? Did she trust you?”  
“Yes, she did. And she is not dead. She is so alive. Now, jump!”   
Deciding that now was better than never, Donna took a deep breath and flung herself out of the taxi, still shaking with terror even as the Doctor grabbed her around the waist and kept her steady on the floor.   
He gave Eris the nod, and she set the ship back to normal flight patterns, aiming for anywhere that they could touch down and give the Tardis time to recover from the day’s stress. 

On a random roof of a high rise somewhere in the city, the Tardis had landed and was now kicking up a right fuss. Smoke billowed from the open doorway as the Doctor did a terrible job at controlling it with a fire extinguisher. Emptying it, he gave up and tossed it aside, closing the doors.   
“The funny thing is, for a spaceship, she doesn't really do that much flying. We'd better give her a couple of hours. Eris, let me see your hands.”  
He fussed over them for a few moments, satisfied that the skin was healing nicely and was already closer to its usual pink than it had been five minutes ago. Giving her a quick hug and pressing a kiss against her forehead, he turned to check on Donna.   
“Are you alright?”  
Donna was standing on the edge of the roof, shivering.   
“Doesn't matter.”   
Eris moved to stand next to her, frowning sympathetically.   
“Did we miss it?”  
“Yeah.”  
The Doctor shrugged. “Well, you can book another date.”  
“Course we can.”  
“You've still got the honeymoon.”  
Donna laughed sadly now. “It's just a holiday now.”  
“Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.”   
The three of them sat down on the edge of the rooftop, legs dangling over the edge.   
Donna sniffled.   
“It's not your fault.”  
“Oh? That's a change.”  
“Wish you had a time machine, then we could go back and get it right.”  
He pulled a face. “Yeah, yeah. But even if I did, I couldn't go back on someone's personal timeline. Apparently.”   
They sat for a moment, not saying anything. Noticing that Donna was shaking in the wind, Eris tugged off her leather jacket and tucked it around her shoulders.   
“Here. I’ll be fine without it.”   
“Are you sure?”   
She laughed. “Yeah, course. Besides, you don’t want to end up wearing his jacket. He’s a skinny thing, his stuff wouldn’t fit a rat. At least my clothes are a bit comfier.”   
The Doctor pulled a face at her, which made Donna giggle, and he passed her a simple golden wedding band.   
“Oh and you'd better put this on.”  
“Oh, do you have to rub it in?”  
He sighed. “I know. But those creatures can trace you. This is a bio-damper. Should keep you hidden. With this ring, I thee bio-damp.”   
Letting him put it on her finger, she sighed.   
“For better or for worse. So, come on then. Robot santas, what are they for?”  
“Ah, your basic robo scavenger. The Father Christmas stuff is just a disguise. They're trying to blend in. I met them last Christmas.”  
“Why, what happened then?”  
Eris raised an eyebrow. “Great big spaceship hovering over London? You didn't notice?”  
Donna looked a little sheepish. “I had a bit of a hangover.”   
The Doctor was staring out over the skyline, a look of nostalgia on his face.   
“I spent Christmas Day just over there, the Powell Estate, with this family. My friend, she had this family. Well, they were. Still, gone now.”   
Sensing that it was a sensitive topic, Donna tried to ask her question as gently as possible.   
“Your friend, who was she?”  
He avoided it entirely.   
“Question is, what do camouflaged robot mercenaries want with you? And how did you get inside the Tardis? I don't know. What's your job?”   
“I'm a secretary.”   
He scanned her with the sonic.   
“It's weird. I mean, you're not special, you're not powerful, you're not connected, you're not clever, you're not important.”  
“This friend of yours. Just before she left, did she punch you in the face? Stop bleeping me!”   
As Donna smacked the sonic away from her, Eris shot a pointed look at her dad. He couldn’t keep avoiding things forever, no matter how much it hurt.   
“What kind of secretary?”  
“I'm at HC Clements. It's where I met Lance. I was temping.”   
She smiled as a memory drifted into her head: her first day in a posh office, feeling very much out of place, when a gorgeous man walked by her desk and set down a cup of coffee.   
“I mean, it was all a bit posh really. I'd spent the last two years at a double glazing firm. Well, I thought I'm never going to fit in here. And then he made me a coffee. I mean, that just doesn't happen. Nobody gets the secretaries a coffee. And Lance, he's the head of HR! He don't need to bother with me. But he was nice, he was funny. And it turns out he thought everyone else was really snotty too. So that's how it started, me and him. One cup of coffee. That was it.”   
Eris smiled. “That’s sweet. When was this?”  
“Six months ago.”  
The Doctor pulled a face. “Bit quick to get married.”  
“Well, he insisted. And he nagged, and he nagged me. And he just wore me down. And then finally, I just gave in.”   
Both the Doctor and Eris secretly thought that things had been the other way around, but they definitely weren’t going to say so in front of Donna. 

“What does HC Clements do?”  
“Oh, security systems. You know, entry codes, ID cards, that sort of thing. If you ask me, it's a posh name for locksmiths.”  
“Keys.”  
“Anyway, enough of my CV. Come on, it's time to face the consequences. Oh, this is going to be so shaming. You can do the explaining, Martian boy.”   
Eris cackled at the look of exasperated consternation on her dad’s face.  
“Yeah. I'm not from Mars.”   
Donna sighed.  
“Oh, I had this great big reception all planned. Everyone's going to be heartbroken.” 

As they reached the venue, Eris decided that heartbroken definitely wasn’t the word to describe the mood. Everyone in the hall was dancing around to Christmas songs under a huge disco ball, and having a fantastic time. Donna stood there, gobsmacked between her new friends, and watched as the wedding party slowly noticed that she had returned. One by one, they stopped dancing. The bride was almost shaking with rage.   
“You had the reception without me?”   
A handsome looking black man in a suit - presumably her fiance - who’d been dancing with a slim blonde, stepped forwards.   
“Donna, what happened to you?”  
“You had the reception without me?”  
The Doctor grinned, waving at the group.   
“Hello. I'm the Doctor.”   
On the other side of Donna, Eris winced. He had a terrible sense of timing.   
Donna rounded on him, furious. “They had the reception without me.”  
“Yes, I gathered.”   
The blonde in the sparkly dress that Lance had been getting a little too friendly with sneered.   
“Well, it was all paid for. Why not?”  
“Thank you, Nerys.”   
Eris raised an eyebrow. “Oh, that’s Nerys? Explains a lot.”   
An older woman, with just enough resemblance to make it obvious that she was Donna’s mum, stepped up next to Lance.   
“Well, what were we supposed to do? I got your silly little message in the end. I'm on Earth? Very funny. What the hell happened? How did you do it? I mean, what's the trick, because I'd love to know.”   
The rest of the guests started to talk over each other, all at once, one voice indistinguishable from the next.   
Suddenly, Donna started to sob, loud and painful, and the group converged around her. Everyone else applauded as Lance pulled her into a hug. Eris and the Doctor stood back and watched, grinning widely when Donna glanced back at them and winked, her eyes seeming far too dry for someone who had just been crying.   
She was an incredibly special human indeed. 

Soon, the party was back in full swing, and the Doctor and Eris stood to one side of the dance floor as the humans celebrated. The wedding might not have gone to plan, but nothing gets between people and the chance to have a good time. Unable to stand and watch for long, the Doctor borrowed someone’s smart phone, and used it to look up HC Clements. As Eris peered over his shoulder, neither of them liked the result that they got. The sole proprietor of HC Clements was Torchwood. He passed the phone back to the person, and the two of them stood there quietly again, lost in thought.   
Eris poked him softly in the ribs, pointing towards a cameraman on the other side of the hall. They approached, and he seemed more than happy to help.   
“Oh, I taped the whole thing. They've all had a look. They said sell it to You've Been Framed. I said, more like the News. Here we are.”   
They watched the replay in shock, right from the moment that Donna and her dad stepped into the church up until the moment she vanished into a cloud of golden energy.   
“Can't be. Play it again?”  
“Clever, mind. Good trick, I'll give her that. I was clapping.”   
On the second replay, the Doctor nodded.   
“But that looks like Huon Particles.”  
The cameraman frowned. “What's that then?”  
“That's impossible. That's ancient. Huon energy doesn't exist anymore, not for billions of years.”   
Feeling her heart skip a beat, Eris grabbed her dad’s sleeve.   
“So old that it can't be hidden by a biodamper!”   
They ran to the nearest window to see a horde of robot Santas approaching, and headed back to the dance floor to find Donna. It didn’t take them long to find her.  
“Donna! Donna, they've found you.”  
“But you said I was safe.”   
The Doctor groaned. “The bio-damper doesn't work. We've got to get everyone out.”  
“My God, it's all my family.”   
Eris pulled them towards another one of the exits.   
“Out the back door!”   
But that plan was doomed too, as they could see the robots forming a circle around the building.   
“Maybe not.”   
Donna swore. “We're trapped.”   
The Doctor risked sticking his head out of one of the windows, feeling a sense of impending doom at the sight of a remote control in the hands of one of the robots.   
“Christmas trees.”   
“What about them?” Donna frowned.   
“They kill.” The three of them sprinted back to the main room, ushering people off the dance floor. “Get away from the tree!”  
“Don't touch the trees!”  
“Get away from the Christmas trees! Everyone get away from them! Everyone stay away from the trees! Stay away from the trees!”  
Donna’s mum rolled her eyes at them. “Oh, for God's sakes, the man's an idiot. Why? What harm's a Christmas tree going to.... Oh.”   
They turned to see the plastic baubles floating off the tree. There was the briefest moment of peace, before the decorations began to zoom through the room, this way and that. When they collided with something, they exploded. That’s when the panic began. People ran for it, hiding under tables and behind chairs. One man tripped, and smashed through the wedding cake.   
Six of the Santas entered the room and lined up in front of the bar. Seeing exactly where they were stood, the Doctor made a break for it and headed to the DJ booth.   
“Oi! Santa! Word of advice. If you're attacking a man with a sonic screwdriver, don't let him near the sound system.”   
Working out his plan, Eris shouted across to the cowering party guests.   
“Cover your ears!”   
Almost before she’d finished, he jammed the sonic screwdriver into the sound system and switched it on. The resulting harmonics were reminiscent of an earthquake, and the robots were shaken to pieces.   
Once they realised that they were safe again, a low level of worried babbling rose.   
“It's all right, Stan. You'll be alright. It's all over.”  
“Michael? Connie? Oh, Senita, do something useful.”  
“What is it? What were they?”  
Eris walked over to the pile of robotic parts and picked up one of the heads, getting used to the weight of it in her hands before tossing it to her dad. The Doctor caught it, already looking closely at the remote it had been carrying.   
“Look at that. Remote control for the decorations, but there's a second remote control for the robots. They're not scavengers anymore. I think someone's taken possession.”   
Donna joined them, resting a hand on the Doctor’s shoulder.   
“Never mind all that. You're a doctor. People have been hurt.”  
“Nah, they wanted you alive. Look.” He threw one of the baubles to her. “They're not active now.”  
“All I'm saying, you could help.”  
“Got to think of the bigger picture.” Then, he cheered. “There's still a signal!” And he ran out of the building.  
Her mum approached her, still looking a little frightened.  
“Donna, who is he? Who is that man?”   
She didn’t have an answer for him. 

Donna ran outside to see the Doctor and Eris fiddling with the metal head. The Doctor was using the sonic screwdriver, while Eris was picking at wires with her fingers.   
“There's someone behind this, directing the roboforms.”   
“Can you figure out where the signal is heading?”   
She joined them, wrapping her arms around herself.   
“But why is it me? What have I done?”  
“If we find the controller, we'll find that out.” There was a chirping noise from the head. “Ooo! It's up there. Something in the sky.”  
Ambulances started to arrive, and Lance had left the building to guide the paramedics inside. However, seeing his wife-to-be with the strangers that had crashed the party, he chose to join them instead. As he approached, the Doctor hit the head he was holding with the sonic.   
“I've lost the signal. Donna, we've got to get to your office. HC Clements. I think that's where it all started. Lance! Is it Lance? Lance, can you give me a lift?” .  
And without waiting for an answer, he and Eris broke into a run, leaving Lance and DOnna with no choice but to follow

They arrived at the HC Clements office and got up to the work floor with little trouble - the building was quite empty. The Doctor looked around, half impressed and half wary of the place.  
“To you lot this might just be a locksmiths, but HC Clements was brought up twenty three years ago by the Torchwood Institute.”   
“Who are they?” Donna shook her head.   
Eris, already hunched over one of the computers, tensed.  
“They were behind the battle of Canary Wharf. Cyberman invasion. Skies over London full of Daleks?”  
All she got was a blank look in response. “Oh, I was in Spain.”   
“I’m pretty sure they had Cybermen in Spain.”  
“Scuba diving.”  
The Doctor sighed, joining Eris at the computer.   
“That big picture, Donna. You keep on missing it. Torchwood was destroyed, but HC Clements stayed in business. I think someone else came in and took over the operation.”  
“But what do they want with me?”  
“Somehow you've been dosed with Huon energy. And that's a problem, because Huon energy hasn't existed since the Dark Times. The only place you'd find a Huon particle now is a remnant in the heart of the Tardis. See? That's what happened.” He looked around the desk for a moment, before picking up a mug and a pencil. “Say, the mug is the Tardis, and that pencil is you. The particles inside you activated. The two sets of particles magnetised and whap” He dropped the pencil into the mug and shook it about a bit. “You were pulled inside the Tardis.”   
She looked a bit faint.   
“I'm a pencil inside a mug?”  
“Yes, you are. 4H. Sums you up. Lance? What was HC Clements working on? Anything top secret? Special operations? Do not enter?”  
Lance shrugged.   
“I don't know, I'm in charge of personnel. I wasn't project manager. Why am I even explaining myself? What the hell are we talking about?”   
“They make keys, that's the point. And look at this. We're on the third floor.”   
Pulling up a building plan, Eris scanned over it quickly before running over to the lift, stabbing at the button impatiently until the doors opened. The Doctor joined her and took a closer look at the control panel.   
“Underneath reception, there's a basement, yes? Then how come when you look on the lift, there's a button marked lower basement? There's a whole floor which doesn't exist on the official plans. So what's down there, then?”   
Lance gaped.   
“Are you telling me this building's got a secret floor?”  
Sighing, Eris stepped past him into the lift.  
“No, we’re showing you this building's got a secret floor.”  
Donna shook her head. “It needs a key.”   
“I don't.” The Doctor grinned, aiming the sonic at the Lower Basement button. “Right then. Thanks, you two. We can handle this just fine. See you later.”   
A scoff from Donna, and she stepped into the lift.  
“No chance, Martian. You're the man who keeps saving my life. I ain't letting you out of my sight.”  
“Going down.” He didn’t want to argue at this point - obviously, Donna would win.   
“Lance?”  
He looked uneasy. “Maybe I should go to the police.”   
“Inside.” She ordered.   
Looking a little sheepish, Lance got into the lift.   
The Doctor nudged him. “To honour and obey?”  
“Tell me about it, mate.”  
“Oi!”   
Clearly, they hadn’t been quiet enough to avoid Donna’s hearing. 

The lift brought them out into a basement corridor lit with a dim green light. Donna shivered.   
“Where are we? Well, what goes on down here?”  
Eris grinned. “Let's find out.”  
“Do you think Mister Clements knows about this place?”  
The Doctor snorted. “The mysterious HC Clements? I think he's part of it. Oh, look. Transport.”   
He pointed towards three Segways, propped against an opposite wall. He, Donna and Lance took one each, while Eris hopped on behind her dad. They got going at a fairly sedate pace, and Donna found herself overcome with the urge to laugh. She couldn’t help it, and exploded with giggles, soon joined by Eris and the Doctor. Lance just stood there, dumbfounded. Arriving at a heavy-looking bulkhead door labeled ‘Torchwood’, the Doctor jumped down from their vehicle and started sonicking it.   
“Wait here. Just need to get my bearings. Don't do anything.”  
“You'd better come back.” Donna pointed a warning finger.   
The Doctor started up the ladder.   
“I couldn't get rid of you if I tried.”   
As Eris moved to stand at the base of the ladder, examining some of the surrounding electronics, Lance turned to Donna.   
“Donna, have you thought about this? Properly? I mean, this is serious! What the hell are we going to do?”   
She shrugged nonchalantly. “Oh, I thought July.”  
Clambering back down again, the Doctor grinned.   
“Thames flood barrier right on top of us. Torchwood snuck in and built this place underneath.”   
“What, there's like a secret base hidden underneath a major London landmark?”   
Eris and the Doctor exchanged glances, eyebrows raised and a slight smirk on each of their faces.   
“Oh, I know. Unheard of.” 

They walked through into a lab, and the Doctor’s face lit up like a kid in a sweet shop.   
“Oo, look at this. Stunning!”   
It was filled with large tubes, some floor to ceiling, others shorter. Each one was filled with a bubbling clear liquid.   
Donna thought it looked like giant vats of lemonade. “What does it do?”  
“Particle extrusion. Hold on. Brilliant. They've been manufacturing Huon particles. Course, my people got rid of Huons. They unravel the atomic structure.”  
Lance looked at him oddly.  
“Your people? Who are they? What company do you represent?”  
The Doctor sniffed, not looking up from the control panel he was messing with.  
“Oh, I'm a freelancer. But this lot are rebuilding them. They've been using the river. Extruding them through a flat hydrogen base so they've got the end result, Huon particles in liquid form.”  
“And that's what's inside me?” Donna looked down at herself. She looked perfectly normal, but she definitely didn’t feel that way.   
Turning a knob on top of one of the containers, Eris watched as the liquid inside glowed gold - as did Donna.   
“Oh, my God!”   
The Doctor clapped his hands together, running over to Donna and looking her up and down.   
“Genius. Because the particles are inert, they need something living to catalyse inside and that's you. Saturate the body and then. Ha! The wedding! Yes, you're getting married, that's it! Best day of your life, walking down the aisle. Oh, your body's a battleground! There's a chemical war inside! Adrenaline, acetylcholine. Wham! Go the endorphins. Oh, you're cooking! Yeah, you're like a walking oven. A pressure cooker, a microwave, all churning away. The particles reach boiling point. Shazam!”   
A resounding crack echoed through the room and he staggered back, holding his cheek. Donna had slapped him again.   
“What did I do this time??”  
Eris rolled her eyes so hard that Donna thought they’d end up on the floor.   
“Seriously? You’re lucky I didn’t slap you - I’m not sure how much ruder you could get.”  
“Are you enjoying this?” Donna yelled. “Right, just tell me. These particles, are they dangerous? Am I safe?”  
“Yes.”  
“Doctor, if your lot got rid of Huon particles, why did they do that?”   
He took a deep breath, knowing he couldn’t hide the truth from her any more.  
“Because they were deadly.”  
“Oh, my God.”   
Eris grabbed both her hands.   
“We'll sort it out, Donna. Whatever's been done to you, We’ll reverse it. We are not about to lose someone else, I promise.”   
A voice crackled around the room, high and harsh. They couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from.   
“Oh, she is long since lost.” The wall in front of them slid up, revealing a further room. “I have waited so long, hibernating at the edge of the universe until the secret heart was uncovered and called out to waken!”  
Terrified, Lance ran. He managed to escape the closing ring of black robed robots that approached them - the others weren’t so lucky, and were soon completely surrounded. 

Leaving Lance to make a break for it, the three of them walked through the newly opened door, a little apprehensively, and found themselves in a large open room. Galleries and gangways crisscrossed along the walls, supplied by almost a hundred staircases. Every single one of them was occupied by ranks and ranks of robots. The main feature, though, was a colossal hole in the centre of the floor. They approached, looking tentatively down into the dark. The Doctor whistled, impressed.   
“Someone's been digging. Oh, very Torchwood. Drilled by laser. How far down does it go?”   
The voice spoke to them again.   
“Down and down, all the way to the centre of the Earth!”  
Eris frowned. “Really? Seriously? What for?”  
Donna gasped.  
“Dinosaurs.”  
“What?” The Doctor looked at her, baffled.   
“Dinosaurs?”  
“What are you on about, dinosaurs?”  
“That film, Under the Earth, with dinosaurs. Trying to help.”   
“That's not helping.”   
Eris looked thoughtful. “Actually, it’s not a terrible theory.”  
Again, the voice from above. “Such a sweet group.”  
The Doctor laughed. “Only a madman talks to thin air and trust me, you don't want to make me mad. Where are you?”  
“High in the sky. Floating so high on Christmas night.”   
“I didn't come all this way to talk on the intercom. Come on, let's have a look at you!”  
“Who are you with such command?”  
“I'm the Doctor.”  
“Prepare your best medicines, doctor man, for you will be sick at heart.” 

A flash of light, and the creature appeared. The Doctor’s jaw dropped at the sight of a colossal red spider. It had the torso and head of a woman, with several horns adorning her head like a combination of hair and a crown.   
“Racnoss? But that's impossible. You're one of the Racnoss?”   
The thing hissed. “Empress of the Racnoss.”   
The Doctor’s response was calm.   
“If you're the Empress, where's the rest of the Racnoss? Or, are you the only one?”  
“Such a sharp mind.”  
“That's it, the last of your kind. The Racnoss come from the Dark Times, billions of years ago. Billions. They were carnivores, omnivores. They devoured whole planets.”  
“Racnoss are born starving. Is that our fault?”  
Donna gulped. “They eat people?”  
Next to her, Eris’ eyes were fixed on something up above.   
“HC Clements, did he wear those, those er, black and white shoes?”  
“He did. We used to laugh. We used to call him the fat cat in spats.”   
With a slightly shaking hand, she pointed. Amongst the thick white web spread across the ceiling was a pair of suited legs, that finished in shiny black and white shoes.   
“Oh, my God!”   
The Empress licked her lips.   
“Mmm. My Christmas dinner.”   
Folding his arms, the Doctor continued.   
“You shouldn't even exist. Way back in history, the fledgling Empires went to war against the Racnoss they were wiped out.”   
“Except for me.”   
On a walkway behind the Racnoss, the trio could see Lance, holding a large axe, creeping towards the alien. Donna called out, hoping to draw it’s attention.   
“But that's what I've got inside me, that Huon energy thing. Oi! Look at me, lady, I'm talking. Where do I fit in? How comes I get all stacked up with these Huon particles? Look at me, you! Look me in the eye and tell me.”   
“The bride is so feisty.”   
Lance was getting closer.   
“Yes, I am! And I don't know what you are, you big thing, but a spider's just a spider and an axe is an axe! Now, do it!”   
As the Empress turned, Lance started to swing the axe - before stopping. He let it drop slowly to the floor, a smile starting to appear on his face, and Eris’ heart sank.   
“That was a good one. Your face.”  
“Lance is funny.”  
Donna didn’t understand. “What?”   
Hoping to break the bad news as gently as possible, the Doctor turned to face Donna directly while Eris squeezed her hands.   
“I'm sorry.”  
“Sorry for what? Lance, don't be so stupid! Get her!”  
Up on the platform, Lance spat.   
“God, she's thick. Months I've had to put up with her. Months. A woman who can't even point to Germany on a map.”  
“I don't understand.”   
Eris tried to get her to work it out for herself.   
“How did you meet him?”  
“In the office.”  
“And he made you coffee. Didn’t he?”   
“What?”  
Lance laughed. “Every day, I made you coffee.”  
The Doctor looked like he was doing his best not to run up there and punch the man in the face.  
“You had to be dosed with liquid particles over six months.”  
And she realised.   
“He was poisoning me.”

“It was all there in the job title. The Head of Human Resources.”  
“This time, it's personnel.” Her fiance quipped.   
Donna’s voice was becoming shaky. “But, we were getting married.”  
Lance launched into a tirade.   
“Well, I couldn't risk you running off. I had to say yes. And then I was stuck with a woman who thinks the height of excitement is a new flavour Pringle. Oh, I had to sit there and listen to all that yap yap yap. Oh, Brad and Angelina. Is Posh pregnant? X Factor, Atkins Diet, Feng Shui, split ends, text me, text me, text me. Dear God, the never ending fountain of fat, stupid trivia. I deserve a medal.”   
Now with an arm around Donna’s shoulders, Eris snapped.   
“Oh, is that what she's offered you? The Empress of the Racnoss? What are you, her consort? You’ve definitely picked the wrong woman there, mate, because I know who I’d rather spend my time with!”   
“It's better than a night with her.”  
This time, Donna was almost sobbing. “But I love you.”  
“That's what made it easy. It's like you said, Doctor. The big picture. What's the point of it all if the human race is nothing? That's what the Empress can give me. The chance to go out there. To see it. The size of it all. I think you understand that, don't you, Doctor?”  
The Empress cocked her head, looking down at the other alien.   
“Who is this little physician? And the girl?”   
“She said Martian.”   
The Doctor jumped in, for once not minding the nickname.  
“Oh, we’re sort of homeless. But the point is, what's down here? The Racnoss are extinct. What's going to help you four thousand miles down? That's just the molten core of the Earth, isn't it?”   
Lance pulled a face. “I think he wants us to talk.”  
“I think so, too.” She hissed.   
“Well, tough! All we need is Donna.”  
“Kill this chattering little doctor man and his pretty little friend.”  
Donna panicked, and stepped in front of them.  
“Don't you hurt them!”   
Appreciating the gesture, the Doctor pulled her back.   
“No, no, Donna. It's all right.”   
“No, I won't let them.”   
The Empress gave her orders.   
“At arms!”   
Every robot lining the galleries pointed their guns at the Doctor and Eris. He held his hands up in defence.   
“Ah, now. Except-”  
“Take aim!”   
Eris put on her most innocent smile. “Well, we just want to point out the obvious -”  
“They won't hit the bride. They're such very good shots.”  
The Doctor carried on.   
“Just, just, just, just, just hold on. Hold on just a tick. Just a tiny little, just a little tick. If you think about it, the particles activated in Donna and drew her inside my spaceship. So reverse it, and the spaceship comes to her.”   
He reached back, and turned a knob on the nearest Huon container. Instantly, the familiar shape of the Tardis started to bleed into formation around them, growing more sharper and more opaque before their very eyes.   
“Fire!” The Empress cried.   
But she was too late. The Tardis solidified, and not long after that the dematerialisation started again. As they left, they could almost hear the vague cries from the enraged spider.   
“My key! My key!”

Donna watched morosely from one of the side seats as the Doctor practically flew around the console - his feet didn’t seem to touch the ground. Eris came to sit next to her, offering a hand and a sympathetic smile.   
“I know you’re probably feeling terrible right now. But trust me, things do get better. It might not seem like it now, but-”   
The Doctor cut her off.   
“Oh, do you know what I said before about time machines? Well, I lied. And now we're going to use it. We need to find out what the Empress of the Racnoss is digging up. If something's buried at the planet's core, it must've been there since the beginning. That's just brilliant. Molto bene. I've always wanted to see this. Donna, we're going further back than I've ever been before.”   
A look of alarm crossed Eris’ face.   
“Can I get back to you on that, Donna? I have a feeling that if I don’t go and help him with this we’ll end up as space junk somewhere.”   
Donna nodded, and settled into the chair as the duo worked on keeping the Tardis under control.   
There was a shudder, and then everything was still.  
“We've arrived. Want to see?”  
“I suppose.”  
He pulled the scanner around, and pulled a face.  
“Oh, that scanner's a bit small. Maybe your way's best.”   
Walking over to the doors, he rested a hand against them and turned back.   
“Come on. No human's ever seen this. You'll be the first.”  
She grumbled, and got up to join them anyway. “All I want to see is my bed.”   
Eris pushed open the doors, relishing the gasp that followed.   
“Donna Noble, welcome to the creation of the Earth.” 

The scene was truly beautiful. Distant coloured gas clouds framed the brightness of the sun perfectly. The space around them seemed to be scattered with lumps of rock and dust, almost reminiscent of a child’s Lego-covered bedroom floor.   
He glanced down at their guest.  
“We've gone back four point six billion years. There's no solar system, not yet. Only dust and rocks and gas. That's the Sun, over there. Brand new. Just beginning to burn.”  
“Where's the Earth?” Donna stuck her head out a little, looking all around them.   
“All around us in the dust.”  
“Puts the wedding in perspective. Lance was right. We're just tiny.”  
“No, but that's what you do. The human race makes sense out of chaos. Marking it out with weddings and Christmas and calendars. This whole process is beautiful, but only if it's being observed.”   
“So I came out of all this?”   
Eris sighed, a dreamy smile on her face. “Isn't that brilliant?”  
A particularly large rock drifted past, and Donna chuckled.  
“I think that's the Isle of Wight.”   
The others snorted, and the Doctor had to take a moment to calm himself before going back to telling the story.   
“Eventually, gravity takes hold. Say, one big rock, heavier than the others, starts to pull other rocks towards it. All the dust and gas and elements get pulled in. Everything, piling in until you get-”  
“The Earth.”  
“But the question is, what was that first rock?”   
Almost on cue, a spaceship shaped like a seven pointed star emerged from one of the dust clouds. Eris was the first to spot it.  
“Dad. Look, over there.”   
He nodded grimly. “The Racnoss. Hold on. The Racnoss are hiding from the war. What's it doing?”   
While the Doctor focused on the ship, Donna was watching the space around it - and she spotted it first.   
“Exactly what you said. It’s drawing it all in.”   
They stood and observed as the surrounding rocks and dust flowed towards the ship.   
“Oh, they didn't just bury something at the centre of the Earth. They became the centre of the Earth. The first rock.”   
A loud bang from the console caught their attention, and Eris ran back to check it. She swore, swinging the scanner around again.   
Donna frowned. “What was that?”  
The Doctor looked worried. “Trouble.”

He barely managed to close the doors before the ship jolted violently.  
“What the hell's it doing?” Donna shouted, hanging on tight to the handrails as the Doctor staggered back to the console.   
“Remember that little trick of mine, particles pulling particles. Well, it works in reverse. They're pulling us back!”  
“Well, can't you stop it? Hasn't it got a handbrake? Can't you reverse or warp or beam or something?”  
He rolled his eyes. “Backseat driver. Oh! Wait a minute! The extrapolator!”   
Eris reached under the console and pulled out the extrapolator, hastily wiring it into the navigation mechanism.   
“It can't stop us, but it should give us a good bump! Tell me when to go.”   
The Doctor nodded, monitoring the Tardis’ path very carefully - too soon, and the extrapolator could send them wheeling out of the vortex. Too late, and the Racnoss would seize the Tardis. He felt the materialisation process start, and gave Eris the nod.   
“Now!”   
She whacked the extrapolator hard with the mallet, and the whole ship shook. They dematerialised again, the Doctor whooping as he reset the controls, finally back in control. 

They burst out of the Tardis and found themselves in one of the lower basement corridors.   
“We're about two hundred yards to the right. Come on!”  
The trio kept running.   
“But what do we do?” Donna panted, struggling to keep up.  
The Doctor managed a shrug. “I don't know. I make it up as I go along. But trust me, I've got a history.”  
“But I still don't understand. I'm full of particles, but what for?”   
Eris stopped them, spotting a door. “Try this one.”  
He started messing with the lock, hoping to find a ladder shaft, and kept talking.   
“There's a Racnoss web at the centre of the Earth, but my people unravelled their power source. The Huon particles ceased to exist but the Racnoss were stuck. They've just taken hibernation for billions of years. Frozen, dead, kaput. So you're the new key. Brand new particles, living particles! They need you to open it and neither of you have never been so quiet.” He turned on the spot to see that the corridor was completely empty behind him.   
“Oh!”   
Needing to work faster, he sonicked the lock and opened the door, only to see one of the robots pointing a gun at him.   
“Ah.” 

Back in the drill room, Eris and Donna had been secured to the ceiling by thick strands of spider web. Lance was up there with them. Eris was incredibly grateful that she was on Donna’s right, rather than her left between her and Lance. It probably didn’t count as a lover’s tiff, not any more, but they were certainly going for it all the same.   
“I hate you.” Donna snarled.   
Lance scoffed. “Yeah, I think we've gone a bit beyond that now, sweetheart.”  
Below, the Empress cackled.   
“My golden couple, together at last. Your awful wedded life. Tell me, do you want to be released?”   
“Yes!” They shouted in unison.   
“You're supposed to say, I do.”   
Eris groaned. “Oh come on. Is that really necessary for anything other than your own sick pleasure?”   
Lance agreed - far less eloquently. “Huh. No chance.”  
“Say it!” The Empress snapped.   
“I do.”  
“I do.” Donna reluctantly muttered.   
“I don't. Activate the particles. Purge every last one.”   
The two of them glowed with the familiar golden light of the Huon particles, and Eris scrunched her eyes shut - at this close proximity, it was horribly bright.   
“And release! The secret heart unlocks, and they will waken from their Sleep of Ages.”   
The golden cloud rushed downwards, disappearing into the deep darkness of the hole.   
Donna didn’t understand.  
“Who will? What's down there?”   
Lance spat. “How thick are you??”  
The Empress was crowing as the sound of thousands of small somethings making their way up the shaft grew louder.  
“My children, the long lost Racnoss, now reborn to feast on flesh! The web star shall come to me. My babies will be hungry. They need sustenance. Perish the web.”   
Realising what his ex-mistress had been implying, Lance made an attempt to save himself first.   
“Use her, not me! Use her! Either of them! Just not me!”   
“Oh, my funny little Lance! But you are quite impolite to your lady friend. The Empress does not approve.”   
The webs holding Lance in place snapped, and he fell into the hole, screaming all the way down until the noise failed entirely.   
Even with her anger, Donna felt her heart crack.   
“Lance!” 

On the platform, the Empress snarled.   
“Harvest the humans! Reduce them to meat.”   
Within moments, the girls could hear the crackles of energy beams on the streets above.   
“My children are climbing towards me and none shall stop them - so you might as well unmask, my clever little doctor man.”   
A robot on the far staircase, one that had slowly been walking up while the Empress was celebrating, stopped dead on the platform and shrugged the robe from it’s shoulders - revealing the Doctor.   
“Oh well. Nice try. I've got you, both of you!”   
Pointing the sonic screwdriver up at them, he pressed the button. Eris felt the web supporting her give way a little.   
“Do you actually know what you’re doing?”   
“Yep! Just hold on tight!”   
And the web snapped. She held tight, flying through the air towards the staircase and squealing as she smacked solidly into the metal railing. The Doctor wrapped his arms tightly around her waist so she wouldn’t fall backwards, and helped her over to safety. Then, it was Donna’s turn. She was even more apprehensive than Eris had been.   
“I'm going to fall!”  
“You're going to swing! I've got you!”   
They watched as she swung towards them, clinging so tightly to the web that her hands were white. Unfortunately, it didn’t quite work out so well this time around, and she slammed into the wall beneath the staircase. Eris and the Doctor winced, looking over the railing to see DOnna sprawled on the floor. The Doctor ran a hand through his hair.   
“Oh. Sorry.”   
She spat back up at them. “Thanks for nothing.” 

The Empress’ teeth chattered as she laughed coldly.   
“The doctor man amuses me.”   
He turned to address her, matching her tone.   
“Empress of the Racnoss, I give you one last chance. I can find you a planet. I can find you and your children a place in the universe to co-exist. Take that offer and end this now.”  
“This man is so funny.”  
“What's your answer?”  
“Oh I'm afraid I have to decline.”  
“What happens next is your own doing.”   
The Empress hissed.   
“I'll show you what happens next. At arms!” On the galleries, all of the robots raised their weapons. “Take aim! And-”  
“Relax.”   
They all slumped.   
Now back on her feet, Donna looked up at the pair. “What did you do?”  
“Guess what I've got, Donna?” The Doctor pulled his hand from his pocket, bringing the large black remote control out with it. “Pockets.”  
“How did that fit in there?”  
Eris snorted. “They're bigger on the inside.”  
The Empress seemed unbothered.  
“Roboforms are not necessary. My children may feast on Martian flesh.”  
This time, the Doctor’s smile was anything but kind.  
“Oh, but we’re not from Mars.”  
“Then where?”   
Eris leant against the rail. “Me? I guess you could say I’m from everywhere.”   
The Doctor continued.  
“My home planet is far away and long since gone. But its name lives on. Gallifrey.”   
The reaction from the Empress was almost like she’d been scalded.  
“They murdered the Racnoss!”  
“I warned you. You did this.”   
He dipped a hand into another pocket and pulled out a handful of glimmering red Christmas tree decorations. And the Empress knew.   
“No! No! Don't! No!”   
Tossing the baubles into the air, he used the remote to direct them to the water pipes, flooding the chamber. It cascaded down the walls and across the flood, converging around the hole and surging down it. Harsh, high alien screams rose from it, and the Empress wailed.   
“No! No! My children! No! My children! My children!”   
Cringing away from the noise, Donna looked up. But the pair on the staircase seemed not to really see or hear what was happening in front of them. Eris’ hand was tight around the Doctor’s wrist, and her head was on his shoulder. They just kept watching. Frightened by their detachment, she called up to them.   
“Doctor! You can stop now!”  
The Empress cried again. “My children!”   
That seemed to snap him out of his trance, and he shouted back down to her.   
“Come on. Time I got you out.”   
The three of them, completely soaked to the bone, finally made their way up the stairs and got into the corridor. 

They headed for the same ladder that the Doctor had used earlier, soaking wet. Donna had to ask.   
“But what about the Empress?”   
The Doctor ushered Eris up the ladder first, before answering.  
“She's used up all her Huon energy. She's defenceless!”   
As the others climbed up, they could hear Eris laughing at the top - and it wasn’t hard to see why. Donna could barely speak around the rising giggles.   
“Just there's one problem.”  
The Doctor didn’t quite seem to understand. “What is that?”  
“We've drained the Thames.”   
And at that, the three of them descended into hysterics once again, staring out over the dry riverbed in front of them. There was no sign of the Racnoss’ star in the sky above, which meant one of two things. The Empress had escaped and fled with her tail between her legs, or she’d been shot down. Either way, they had done it. 

The Tardis was parked up across the road from Donna’s house. The Doctor patted her side lovingly.   
“There we go. Told you she'd be alright. She can survive anything.”  
Donna managed a half smile.   
“More than I've done.”   
Shaking her head, Eris shot her a mock glare. “Don’t you dare talk like that - you’re fantastic.”   
The Doctor flashed the sonic at her quickly, smiling at the readings.   
“No, all the Huon particles have gone. No damage, you're fine.”   
“Yeah, but apart from that, I missed my wedding, lost my job and became a widow on the same day. Sort of.”   
“I couldn't save him.”  
“He deserved it.” Donna laughed a little at the simultaneous eyebrow raise from the others.  
“No, he didn't. I'd better get inside. They'll be worried.”   
Eris smiled softly, watching Donna’s parents enjoying Christmas in their living room.   
“Best Christmas present they could have.”  
The Doctor nudged her. “Ah, but you’ve forgotten. Donna hates Christmas.”   
The ginger rolled her eyes. “Yes, I do.”  
“Even if it snows?”   
Before she could answer, the Doctor had turned and aimed the sonic up at the lamp on top of the Tardis. It briefly turned a yellowy-gold colour, before firing a bolt of energy up into the sky. Less than a second later, large white snowflakes started to fall, and soon, it had become a full-on blizzard.   
Donna gasped. “I can't believe you did that!”   
He shrugged. “Oh, basic atmospheric excitation.”   
“Merry Christmas.”   
She watched as the Doctor held out his hand and collected a little pile of snow, before tossing it in Eris’ face. She swatted him away, laughing.   
“And you. So, what will you do with yourself now?”  
“Not getting married, for starters. And I'm not going to temp anymore. I don't know. Travel. See a bit more of planet Earth. Walk in the dust. Just go out there and do something.”  
Eris started to talk. “Well, you could always-” But then, faltered.   
“What?”   
The Doctor took a deep breath.   
“Come with us.”  
It didn’t take her long to respond. “No.”  
“Okay.”  
“I can't.”  
“No, that's fine.”   
It was a blatant lie, and Donna could see it on both of their faces. A little of the sparkle had faded from Eris’ eyes, and the Doctor seemed to have drooped a bit.   
“No, but really. Everything we did today. Do you live your life like that?”   
Eris sounded like she was trying to convince herself as well as Donna.  
“Not all the time.”  
“I think you do. And I couldn't.”   
The Doctor was still trying too. “But you've seen it out there. It's beautiful.”   
“And it's terrible. That place was flooding and burning and they were dying, and you two were stood there like, I don't know, strangers. And then you made it snow. I mean, you scare me to death.”   
“Right.” 

Not liking the kicked puppy look they were both wearing, Donna tried to make it up to them.  
“Tell you what I will do, though. Christmas dinner. Oh, come on.”   
He shook his head. “I don't do that sort of thing.”  
“You did it last year. You said so. And you might as well, because Mum always cooks enough for twenty.”   
Grinning, Eris beat the Doctor to the answer. “We’d love to. Wouldn’t we, dad?”   
He gave in.   
“Oh, all right then. But you go first. Better warn them. And don't say I'm a Martian. I just have to park her properly. She might drift off to the Middle Ages. We'll see you in a minute.”   
Eris shot Donna an apologetic look.   
“I’d better follow him - he claims to be able to fly her, but I swear he makes it up as he goes along half the time.”   
There was a muffled ‘Oi!’ as she slipped through the doors, and not long after the sound of the Tardis engines started up.   
Donna realised what was going on.   
“Doctor! Doctor!”   
He opened the front doors.   
“Blimey, you can shout.”   
“Am I ever going to see you again?”  
“If I'm lucky.”  
“Just promise me one thing. Find someone.”   
Confusion crossed his face. “I’ve got Eris. Why would I need anyone else?”   
She rolled her eyes.   
“Yes, you do. Because sometimes, I think you need someone to stop you. Eris, she’s too like you. You need someone who can see things from the outside.”   
He shrugged.   
“Yeah. Thanks then, Donna. Good luck. And just be magnificent.”   
Before he could close the doors again,   
“Doctor?”  
“Oh, what is it now?”   
“That friend of yours. What was her name?”   
A pause, and a smile. It was pained, but definitely a smile.   
“Her name was Rose.”   
Then, he closed the doors for the last time, and Donna stepped back to watch as the Tardis dematerialised entirely.


	2. Smith and Jones

For Martha Jones, medical student at London’s Royal Hope Hospital, life was never as simple as it looked. She was on her way to work when her phone rang - and she had an idea what the topic of conversation would be before she even picked up.   
“You're up early. What's happening?”  
On the other end of the line, her sister Tish was ranting.  
“It's a nightmare, because Dad won't listen, and I'm telling you, Mum is going mental. Swear to God, Martha, this is epic. You've got to get in there and stop him.”  
“How do I do that?”  
“Tell him he can't bring her.”   
A couple of beeps signalled a call waiting, and Martha checked the caller ID.  
“Hold on, that's Leo. I'll call you back.”   
Her brother sounded incredibly relaxed, considering that it was his party causing all the drama.   
“Martha, If Mum and Dad start to kick off, tell them I don't even want a party. I didn't even ask for one. They can always give me the money instead.”  
“Yeah, but why do I have to tell them? Why can't you?” Another set of beeps, and she groaned internally. “Hold on, that's Mum. I'll call you back.”   
Her mum was irate.   
“I don't mind your father making a fool of himself in private, but this is Leo's 21st, everyone is going to be there, and the entire family is going to look ridiculous.”   
Martha sighed. “Mum, it's a party. I can't stop Dad from bringing his girlfriend.” Yet more beeps. “Hold on, that's Dad, I'll call you back.”  
Her dad was clearly in the middle of something when he got through to her.   
“Martha? Now, tell your mother, Leo is my son, and I'm paying for half that party. I'm entitled to bring who I like.”  
“I know, but think what it's going to look like for Mum, if you're standing there with Annalise.”  
“What's wrong with Annalise?”   
A high, ear-wounding voice sounded mercifully faint on the other end of the phone.   
“Is that Martha? Say hi. Hi, Martha, hi!”  
Martha did her best not to wince. “Hi, Annalise.”  
“Big kiss, lots of love, see you at the party, babe. Now, take me shopping, big boy.”   
Overhearing that last bit made her gag a little, and she hung up the phone. 

As she got to the corner of Chancellor Street, a man bumped into her. He was tall, wearing a blue suit, brown trench coat and Converse trainers, with spiked brown hair that almost seemed to define gravity.   
“Like so.” He said, taking off his tie and holding it up. “See?”   
Before she could answer, he walked away. She watched as a short brunette ran up to him, wearing a ridiculously long multicoloured scarf, and the two weaved their way through the crowds on the street and vanishing from sight. Brushing off the bizarre encounter - dwelling on it too long would probably make her late for work - she carried on with her commute. But things still didn’t quite go to plan. As she arrived at the hospital, a man in full motorcycle leathers barged roughly past her.   
“Oi! Watch it mate.”   
He didn’t say a word, and she made her way to the locker room feeling a little uneasy. The fact that she got a mild electric shock from her locker door as she changed into her lab coat didn’t bother her at all - it was hardly the weirdest thing to happen all day. 

On her way up to the ward, she was stopped by another young woman in a lab coat. She didn’t recognise her, but she was very obviously a medical student.   
“Hi, sorry. But can you tell me where the acute admissions ward is?”   
Martha smiled. “I can do you one better, I’m heading up there myself. I’m Martha, by the way.”   
The girl smiled back. “I’m Eris. And thanks, by the way. I’m meant to be joining the ward round and I haven’t got a clue where I’m going.”   
“Are you on placement here then? I haven’t seen you around before.”   
“It’s only a temporary thing.” Eris shrugged. “My usual placement group at the Royal Free have all come down with a stomach bug, and I’m the only one healthy enough to be useful. So they found me some room here to join in.”   
“Oh wow, lucky you didn’t get caught up in it then!”   
“Yeah, lucky.” 

The consultant, Mr Stoker, started right away, at a pace that wasn’t the easiest to keep up with. They’d already seen four patients by the time they met Florence.   
“I was all right till this morning, and then, I don't know, I woke up and I felt all dizzy again. It was worse than when I came in.”   
Eris felt quite sorry for her - she looked pretty delicate, and clearly quite uncomfortable.   
Stoker nodded. “Pulse is slightly thready. Well, let's see what Britain's finest might suggest. Any ideas, Morgenstern?”   
A rather nervous young man answered.  
“Dizziness can be a sign of early onset diabetes.”  
“Hardly early onset, if you'll forgive me, Miss Finnegan. Any more ideas? Swales?”   
This young woman looked very much like a deer in the headlights.  
“Er, could recommend a CT scan.”  
“And spend all our money? Stewart?”   
Eris racked her brains. She had a little medical knowledge, yes, but not enough to withstand an entire day working like this. Maybe this had been a bad choice of cover.  
“What about a full blood count?”   
Stoker raised an eyebrow. “And what exactly would that tell us? Jones?”   
“We could check for Meniere's disease.”  
He sighed. “Or we could simply ask the patient. What did you have for dinner last night?”  
Florence looked a little baffled at the question.   
“I had salad.”  
“And the night before?”  
“Salad again.”  
“And salad every night for the past week, contrary to my instructions. Salt deficiency, that's all. Simple, honest salt.”   
Smiling blankly, he led the group away from the bed, filling them in with a little bit of wisdom.  
“Hippocrates himself expounded on the virtues of salt. Recommended the inhalation of steam from sea water. Though no doubt if he'd been afflicted with my students, results might have been rather more colourful.”   
Both Martha and Eris were distracted from his monologue by the sight of two men in motorcycle gear. Noticing her reaction, Eris remarked.  
“That’s a bit weird, right?”   
Martha shuddered as they moved into the next ward section.   
“More than a bit. I saw one of them this morning outside, he bumped into me. Didn’t even stop to say sorry.” 

Their discussion stopped as Mr Stoker pulled back the curtains around the next bed.   
“Now then, Mr Smith, a very good morning to you. How are you today?”   
Wearing a pair of striped pyjamas, the Doctor was doing his best not to blow Eris’ cover.   
“Oh, not so bad. Still a bit, you know, blah.”  
“John Smith, admitted yesterday with severe abdominal pains. Jones, why don't you see what you can find? Amaze me.”   
As Martha took the stethoscope from around her neck, she raised an eyebrow at her patient.   
“That wasn't very clever, running around outside, was it?”   
He frowned. “Sorry?”  
“On Chancellor Street this morning? You came up to me and took your tie off.”  
“Really? What did I do that for?”   
He noticed Eris glaring at him over Martha’s shoulder, and he tried to convey his innocence just with his facial expression.   
“I don't know, you just did.”  
“Not me. I was here, in bed. Ask the nurses.”  
“Well, that's weird, cause it looked like you. Have you got a brother?”  
“No, not any more. Just me.”  
At the foot of the bed, Stoker sighed.   
“As time passes and I grow ever more infirm and weary, Miss Jones.”  
“Sorry. Right.”   
Leaning down to perform the standard auscultations, she was a little confused to hear an unexpected sound. Thinking it might have been due to a heart problem, she moved the stethoscope a little to the right of where the aortic valve was normally listened to. And she withheld a gasp. There was a whole second set of heartbeats. She looked up at Mr Smith, and he shot her a wink.   
Stoker was getting impatient. “I weep for future generations. Are you having trouble locating the heart, Miss Jones?”  
She stood up straight again. “Er, I don't know. Stomach cramps?”  
“That is a symptom, not a diagnosis. And you rather failed basic techniques by not consulting first with the patient's chart.”   
As he reached for the clipboard, he got a shock off the metal clip and withdrew his hand.   
“That happened to me this morning.” Martha said.   
Morgernstern nodded. “I had the same thing on the door handle.”  
“And me, on the lift.” Swales added.   
Stoker brushed it off. “That's only to be expected. There's a thunderstorm moving in and lightning is a form of static electricity, as was first proven by. Anyone?”   
Eris was the only person to answer - unfortunately, the Doctor picked the exact same moment to do so.   
“Benjamin Franklin.”  
“Correct.”  
Unlike Eris, the Doctor continued. “My mate, Ben. That was a day and a half. I got rope burns off that kite, and then I got soaked..”  
“Quite.”  
“And then I got electrocuted!”   
A little unnerved, Stoker led the students away.  
“Moving on. I think perhaps a visit from psychiatric.”   
Martha looked back to exchange a grin with the patient as they walked away - and as she did so, noticed the warning look that Eris shot him.   
That was odd. 

The students’ breaks were scheduled in pairs, so Martha found herself in the little kitchenette with Swales, chatting on the phone while the other girl made coffee.   
“No, listen, I've worked out a plan. We tell Annelise that the buffet tonight is one hundred per cent carbohydrate, and she won't turn up.”   
Tish groaned. “I wish you'd take this seriously. That's our inheritance she's spending, on fake tan. Tell you what, I'm not that far away, I'll drop by for a sandwich and we can draw up a battle plan.”  
Martha looked out of the window and pulled a face.   
“In this weather? I'm not going out. It's pouring down.”   
“It's not raining here.” There was a pause, and she continued. “That's weird. It's raining right on top of you, I can see it, but it's dry where I am.”   
“Well, you just got lucky.”  
“No, but it's like in cartoons. You know, when a man's got a cloud over his head.”  
“Yeah, but listen, I'll tell you what we'll do.”   
She faltered for a moment as she saw Mr Smith walk past wearing a dressing gown. He was with Eris, and the two of them looked like they were deep in discussion.   
“We tell Dad and Annalise to get there early, about seven thirty, and we tell Leo to get there at the same time so we can do all that birthday stuff. We tell Mum to get there for about eight thirty, nine, and that gives me time to have a word with Annalise, and-”  
She was interrupted by Swales’ hand on her arm, and she looked up.   
“What?”  
“The rain.”   
“It's only rain.”   
But Tish was mirroring her colleague’s sentiments.   
“Martha, have you seen the rain?”   
“Why's everyone fussing about rain?”  
Both girls answered together.   
“It's going up.”   
“The rain is going up.”  
Martha looked out of the window, and her jaw dropped as she realised that the others were right. The rain was falling upwards. 

Before she could stare for too long, however, there was a huge roll of thunder and a flash like lightning, followed by a lot of shaking. It lasted for a good thirty seconds or so, and when it finally stopped, the students were both on the floor.   
“What the hell was that?” Martha gasped.   
Swales reached out a hand. “Are you all right?”  
“I think so, yeah. It felt like an earthquake, or-” They got to their feet, and silence fell.   
“Martha? It's night. Look. It was lunchtime.”  
“It's not night.”  
“But it's got to be. It's dark.”   
Martha shook her head, not believing the words that were about to come out of her mouth.   
“We're on the moon.”   
And they were. A waxing gibbous view of planet Earth was visible, hanging in a pitch black sky and framed with stars. The ground below them was a grey, cratered surface, thick with dust and impossibly still.   
“We can't be.”  
“We're on the moon. We're on the bloody moon.”   
From the wards around them, screams started to arise as people realised what was happening. The two of them exchanged looks, and dashed back out to the wards. 

It seemed like almost the whole ward was up on their feet and staring out of the windows. Martha took charge.   
“All right now, everyone back to bed, we've got an emergency but we'll sort it out. Don't worry.”   
She didn’t notice Mr Smith drawing the curtains shut around his bed as she joined Eris at the window.   
“Are you okay?”  
“Me?” Eris raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, perfect. You alright?”   
“Just about. It's real. It's really real. Hold on.”   
She reached to open one of the windows, and Swales grabbed her wrist.   
“Don't! We'll lose all the air.”  
“But they're not exactly air tight. If the air was going to get sucked out it would have happened straight away, but it didn't. So how come?”   
Eris smiled. “Ten points to Martha Jones.”   
And the Doctor swung the curtains open, now fully dressed again.   
“Very good point. Brilliant, in fact. What was your name?”   
His daughter rolled her eyes.   
“Stealing my thunder, as always. You got changed fast.”  
He shrugged. “Yeah, well. I’ve had practice.”   
“Dad. Back to the issue at hand?”   
“Ah, yeah. Well then, Martha Jones, the question is, how are we still breathing?”  
Swales sniffled.”We can't be.”   
He rolled his eyes. “Obviously we are, so don't waste my time. Martha, what have we got? Is there a balcony on this floor, or a veranda, or…”  
“By the patients' lounge, yeah.”  
“Fancy going out?”  
“Okay.”  
“We might die.”  
“We might not.”  
He looked impressed. “Good. Come on.” 

Martha led them to the balcony she’d mentioned, and the three of them stood for a moment, hearts racing, before opening the glass doors and breathing deep. It was relieving to know that they could.   
“We've got air. How does that work?” She stepped out, looking around in disbelief.   
The Doctor shrugged. “Just be glad it does.”   
Looking out at the view of the Earth, Martha seemed a little distant.  
“I've got a party tonight. It's my brother's twenty first. My mother's going to be really, really-”   
Eris moved to stand next to her, ready to offer a hand if the girl needed it.   
“You okay?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Are you sure?”   
“Yeah.”  
The Doctor looked over at them. “Want to go back in?”  
Martha was quick to answer.  
“No way. I mean, we could die any minute, but all the same, it's beautiful.”  
“Do you think?”  
“How many people want to go to the moon? And here we are.”  
He smiled up at the view - it was one he would never get sick of.   
“Standing in the Earthlight.”   
“What do you think happened?”  
“What do you think?”  
She shrugged, sounding a little flat.   
“Extraterrestrial. It's got to be. I don't know, a few years ago that would have sounded mad, but these days? That spaceship flying into Big Ben, Christmas, those Cybermen things. I had a cousin. Adeola. She worked at Canary Wharf. She never came home.”   
Eris and the Doctor exchanged a look, having recognised both the name and the face.   
“I'm sorry.”  
“Yeah.”  
“We were there, in the battle.” Eris folded her arms around herself, and sniffed.   
Martha took a deep breath, and returned to her previous professional tone.  
“I promise you, Mister Smith, we will find a way out. If we can travel to the moon, then we can travel back. There's got to be a way.”   
He smirked.   
“It's not Smith. That's not my real name.”   
“Who are you, then?”  
“I'm the Doctor.”  
She scoffed. “Me too, if I can pass my exams. What is it then, Doctor Smith?”  
“Just the Doctor.”  
“How do you mean, just the Doctor?”  
“Just the Doctor.”  
“What, people call you the Doctor?”  
“Yeah.”   
And then she rounded on Eris. “What about you then? Do you call yourself the chiropractor, or something? And he’s your dad?”   
The brunette snorted. “Yes he’s my dad, no I’m not called the chiropractor. I’m just Eris.”   
“Well, anyway. I’m not calling you the Doctor. As far as I'm concerned, you've got to earn that title.”   
He raised an eyebrow.   
“Well, I'd better make a start, then. Let's have a look. There must be some sort of…” He reached down and grabbed a small stone from between the tiles of the balcony, and chucked it. It bounced off.   
“A forcefield keeping the air in.”   
Martha frowned. “But if that's like a bubble sealing us in, that means this is the only air we've got. What happens when it runs out?”  
“How many people in this hospital?”  
“I don't know. A thousand?”  
Eris’ eyes darkened. “One thousand people - suffocating.”  
“Why would anyone do that?”   
There was a sudden shaking, and large columnar ships appeared in the space above them, coming into land.   
“Head's up! Ask them yourself.” The Doctor peered in the direction of the landing site, rummaging in his pockets for a pair of binoculars so he could get a better look. Then he passed them to both Eris and Martha in turn. They watched as neat regiments of marching figures stomped across the dusty grey surface of the moon.   
Martha gasped. “Aliens. That's aliens. Real, proper aliens.”  
The Doctor recognised them. “Judoon.”  
On Martha’s left, Eris swore, and he looked at her oddly.   
“Do you not remember the… incident at Stricium?”   
“Ah. That.”   
“Yes, that. We’d better hope my probation period has expired, or we’re really screwed” 

Naturally, there was mass panic as the Judoon entered the hospital. People screamed and ran, hiding behind chairs and bins. A silent blanket fell over the crowds as the figure at the front of the formation stepped forwards, lifted it’s gloved hands, and removed the black helmet. Underneath it was the head of a hideous two horned rhinoceros. It spoke in a language unlike any the humans had heard before.   
“Blo sco flo do no cro blo cos so ro.”   
The others drew their weapons, and one of the young medical students from earlier in the day - Morgenstern - approached with his hands up.   
“Er, we are citizens of planet Earth. We welcome you in peace.”   
The unhelmeted beast shoved him roughly against the wall and took what looked like a thick torch from a holster, shining a blueish light at his.   
“Please don't hurt me. I was just trying to help. I'm sorry, don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me.”   
It stepped back, and played a recording of the man’s voice, before plugging it into a port on it’s chest.   
“Language assimilated. Designation Earth English. You will be catalogued.”   
Then, it shone the same blue light at Morgenstern’s forehead.   
“Category human.”   
Taking his right hand, it marked a harsh black cross on it, before turning to the others in it’s unit.   
“Catalogue all suspects.”

Eris spotted a pair of particularly large potted plants out on the mezzanine that would give them enough coverage to be able to watch what was happening below, and led the others out there. She and Martha watched the Judoon working their way through the gaggle of people in the reception. The Doctor, however, had other things on his mind.   
“Oh, look down there, you've got a little shop. I like a little shop.”  
Martha rolled her eyes. “Never mind that. What are Judoon?”  
“They're like police. Well, police for hire. They're more like interplanetary thugs.”  
“And they brought us to the moon?”  
“Neutral territory. According to galactic law, they've got no jurisdiction over the Earth, and they isolated it. That rain, lightning? That was them, using an H2O scoop.”   
She pulled a face. “What are you on about, galactic law? Where'd you get that from? If they're police, are we under arrest? Are we trespassing on the moon or something?”   
Eris laughed quietly, brushing a long leaf out of her face.   
“I don’t think we are, but it’d be pretty funny if that was the case.”   
The Doctor agreed. “No, but I like that. Good thinking. No, I wish it were that simple. They're making a catalogue. That means they're after something non human, which is very bad news for me. And, come to think of it, Eris as well.”   
She blanched a little.   
“You really think they’d pick something up on the scan?”   
“You really think they wouldnt?”   
Martha watched the conversation.   
“Why? Oh, you're kidding me.” They both turned to glance at her. “Don't be ridiculous. Stop looking at me like that.”   
He got to his feet.   
“Come on then.” 

Their next stop was an admin office, where the Doctor got straight to work on one of the computers with the sonic screwdriver. Eris sat cross legged on the desk behind the monitor, fiddling with the wiring in the unit. Martha had been keeping a lookout, and came back in to update them.   
“They've reached the third floor. What's that thing?”  
He didn’t look up. “Sonic screwdriver.”  
“Well, if you're not going to answer me properly.”  
“No, really, it is. It's a screwdriver, and it's sonic. Look.”   
Martha laughed mockingly. “What else have you got, a laser spanner?”  
He didn’t seem to pick up on the sarcasm.  
“I did, but it was stolen by Emily Pankhurst, cheeky woman.”   
Eris laughed at the memory, before growling slightly as the wires sparked, catching her fingers.   
“Oh, this damn computer!”   
He nodded. “The Judoon must have locked it down. Judoon platoon upon the moon. Because we were just travelling past. I swear, we were just wandering. We weren’t looking for trouble, honestly, we weren’t, we never do, but I noticed these plasma coils around the hospital, and that lightning, that's a plasma coil. Been building up for two days now, so I checked in. Got Eris in as a medical student to get a behind-the-scenes view. I thought something was going on inside. It turns out the plasma coils were the Judoon up above.”   
Martha shrugged. “But what were they looking for?”  
“Something that looks human, but isn't.”  
“Like the two of you, apparently.”  
“Like us. But not us.”  
“Haven't they got a photo?”  
Eris sighed. “Well, it might be a shape-changer. That would certainly complicate matters.”  
“Whatever it is, can't you just leave the Judoon to find it?”  
The Doctor shook his head.   
“If they declare the hospital guilty of harbouring a fugitive, they'll sentence it to execution.”   
“All of us?”  
“Oh yes. If I can find this thing first. Oh!” He smacked the side of the monitor in annoyance.  
“You see, they're thick! Judoon are thick! They are completely thick! They wiped the records. Oh, that's clever.” He sat back, running a hand through his hair.   
Frowning, Martha peered at the blank screen.  
“What are we looking for?”   
Seeing that her dad was too irritated to form a proper answer, Eris took up the wires again.  
“I don't know for sure. Say, any patient admitted in the past week with unusual symptoms. Maybe there's a back-up, I’ll see what I can do here.”   
“Just keep working. I'll go ask Mr Stoker. He might know.”   
Tracing the familiar steps to her supervisor’s office, Martha was a little confused when she saw that the door was ajar. He never left it open.   
“Mr Stoker?”   
As she peered in, she saw a pair of feet sticking out from behind the desk, and her heart stopped. The black heads of the motorcycle men popped up, and then the wrinkled face of the old woman - Florence, Martha thought her name was - appeared. She had a plastic straw in her mouth, and the end of it was coated with a horribly familiar thick red liquid.   
“Kill her!”   
Martha ran for her life. 

The three of them bumped into each other again in the corridor.   
“I've restored the back-up.” The Doctor grinned.   
Martha had something else on her mind. “I found her.”  
Eris’ eyes widened.   
“You did what?”   
A short distance away, Stoker’s office door crashed to the ground and the two men in motorcycle helmets started running for them. The Doctor directed the others towards the stairs.   
“Run!”   
They didn’t get very far, though. Judoon were heading up the same stairs they were trying to get down, so they had no choice but to dart off onto another floor. One of the men followed them, the other splitting off to try and head them off from another direction. 

With no other options, they ran into one of the radiology rooms and slammed the door shut. The Doctor and Martha got behind the radiation screen while Eris kept her body weight against the door to stop their persuer getting in.   
“When I say now, press the button.” The Doctor gestured at the control panel.   
“But I don't know which one.”  
“Then find out!”   
He moved back into the main area and started messing with the x-ray machine, jamming the sonic screwdriver into a port and glancing back at Martha as she fumbled with the Operator’s manual.   
“Now!”   
Eris pulled away from the door and it smashed inwards, the leather clad man marching in and facing her directly. She turned to Martha.   
“Switch it on!”   
Panicking, Martha just went for the biggest button on the panel - a large, yellow button the size of her palm. She punched it. The room was filled with radiation, all three figures getting hit with a massive dose. As the man in leather fell to the floor, she switched it off. Nervous, she walked out from behind the safety screen.   
“What did you do?”  
The Doctor shrugged. “Increased the radiation by five thousand per cent. Killed him dead.”  
“But isn't that going to kill you two as well?”   
Eris cracked her neck, pulling a face.   
“Nope. Just tasted a bit musty, really. Like out of date cereal. I’ve had worse. Dad?”   
He agreed. “Nah, it's only roentgen radiation. We used to play with roentgen bricks in the nursery. It's safe for you to come out. I've absorbed it all. All I need to do is expel it. If I concentrate I can shake the radiation out of my body and into one spot.” He started to shake his left foot, hopping on the spot. “It's in my left shoe. Here we go, here we go. Easy does it. Out, out, out, out, out. Out, out. Ah, ah, ah, ah! It is, it is, it is, it is, it is hot. Hold on.” After a lot of jumping and dramatic gasping, he tore the shoe off his left foot and slammed it into the nearest clinical waste bin, grinning.   
“Done.”  
Martha stared at him like he’d grown another head. “You're completely mad.”  
He looked down at himself, humming thoughtfully.  
“You're right. I look daft with one shoe.”   
And to the girls’ amusement, he took off the other shoe and threw it in the bin as well.   
“Barefoot on the moon.”   
Eris rolled her eyes, punched him in the shoulder, and turned her attention to the figure on the floor.   
“So what is that thing?”   
Martha nodded. “And where's it from, the planet Zovirax?”  
The Doctor walked back over to the x-ray machine.  
“It's just a Slab. They're called Slabs. Basic slave drones. See? Solid leather, all the way through. Someone has got one hell of a fetish.”   
As Eris choked on a laugh, Martha frowned.   
“But it was that woman, Miss Finnegan. It was working for her, just like a servant.”   
Unfortunately, the Doctor wasn’t listening any more. He’d pulled the sonic from the machine, only to realise that it was completely fried.   
“My sonic screwdriver.”  
“She was one of the patients, but-”  
“Oh, no. My sonic screwdriver.”  
“She had a straw like some kind of vampire.”  
“I love my sonic screwdriver.”   
Realising that he wasn’t paying attention, Martha crossed her arms.   
“Doctor?”   
“Sorry.” He tossed the remains of the sonic over his shoulder. “You called me Doctor.”   
Eris rolled her eyes.   
“Is that seriously the only part you listened to? Martha, try again.”   
“Miss Finnegan is the alien. She was drinking Mister Stoker's blood.”   
He pulled a face. “Funny time to take a snack. You'd think she'd be hiding. Unless.... No. Yes, that's it. Wait a minute. Yes! Shape-changer. Internal shape-changer. She wasn't drinking blood, she was assimilating it.”   
A worried look from Eris.   
“But that means…”   
“If she can assimilate Mister Stoker's blood, mimic the biology, she'll register as human. We've got to find her and show the Judoon. Come on!” 

They didn’t get very far in their mission to find her before having to stop, hiding behind a water dispenser as the second Slab marched past. The Doctor wrinkled his nose.   
“That's the thing about Slabs. They always travel in pairs.”   
Martha nodded. “Like you two.”   
Eris frowned. “What about us? “  
“Well, you’re a pair. Haven't you got back-up though? Surely you don’t do this by yourselves.”  
The Doctor scoffed.   
“Oh. Humans. We're stuck on the moon running out of air with Judoon and a bloodsucking criminal, you're asking personal questions? Come on.”  
“I like that. Humans. I'm still not convinced you're an alien.”   
As if on cue, the first thing they saw when they stood was a trio of Judoon. The Doctor shoved Eris behind him, and she took Martha’s hand.   
“Get ready to run.” She whispered.   
The Judoon retrieved it’s scanner and directed it at the Doctor.  
“Non-human.”  
Martha gasped. “Oh my God, you really are.”  
“And again.”   
So they legged it, only just making it around the corner as the Judoon fired on them. Their footsteps rang out against the stairs as they ran up, hoping they were moving fast enough. 

In the upper corridors, people were slumped on the floor, exhausted. Martha could feel herself tiring a little, but the Doctor and Eris looked completely fine.   
“They've done this floor. Come on. The Judoon are logical and just a little bit thick. They won't go back to check a floor they've checked already.”   
“If we're lucky.” Eris muttered darkly.   
Swales was giving oxygen to a patient, and they stopped to check how things were going.   
“How much oxygen is there?”  
The other medical student shook her head.  
“Not enough for all these people. We're going to run out.”  
The Doctor looked at Martha. “How are you feeling? Are you all right?”  
She shrugged “I'm running on adrenaline.”  
Eris grinned. “Welcome to our world.”  
“What about the Judoon?”  
He pulled a face. “Nah, great big lung reserves. It won't slow them down. Where's Mister Stoker's office?”  
“It's this way.” 

Eris decided to wait outside, in case the woman tried to make a break for it and got as far as the door. But by the time they had got back to Mr Stoker’s office, the room was empty - except for Mr Stoker himself. Martha groaned.   
“She's gone. She was here.”   
She faltered a little at the sight of his body. He was so pale, so fragile. The Doctor knelt by the man’s side, looking at his neck.   
“Drained him dry. Every last drop. I was right. She's a plasmavore.”  
“What's she doing on Earth?”  
“Hiding. On the run. Like Ronald Biggs in Rio de Janeiro. What's she doing now? She's still not safe. The Judoon could execute us all. Come on.”   
He got to his feet, but Martha didn’t move.   
“Wait a minute.”  
She leant down and closed his eyes. 

They burst back into the corridor, the Doctor’s mind working a mile a minute.   
“Think, think, think. If I was a plasmavore surrounded by police, what would I do?”   
A sign on the wall pointing to the MRI room caught his eye, and he sighed.   
“Ah. She's as clever as me. Almost.”   
From the other end of the corridor, there was a crash, and the sound of Judoon voices accompanied by screams.   
“Find the non-human. Execute.”   
He groaned, and Eris stretched a little.   
“Go. I’ll deal with them.”   
“What? No, no chance. If the scan comes back as non-human -”  
“Then I’ll handle it. Surely they’ll have details about the creature they’re looking for, and they’ll have to compare me to them. It should take them enough time to figure out that I’m not the right person that you’ll have got things sorted. Go.”   
He shook his head.   
“Not on your own. Martha, stay here. I need time. You've got to hold them up, try and keep their attention off Eris if you can - things could be disastrous otherwise.”   
Martha stared at him, dumbfounded. “How do I do that?”  
The Doctor ran a hand through his hair, and shot her an apologetic look.  
“Just forgive me for this. It could save a thousand lives. It means nothing. Honestly, nothing.”  
And then he was kissing her, hard and passionate. It lasted only for a moment, and then he was gone, running towards the scanner room.   
Martha stood there, breathless.   
“That was nothing?”  
Out of her line of sight, Eris winced. She had a feeling her dad might have just started a problem for himself. 

All the lights in the MRI room had gone haywire, and the scanner itself was danced over by electricity. The old woman, Florence, was working quietly inside the control booth. The Doctor took a few deep breaths, made it look like he had been running, and started the act.   
“Have you seen them? There are these things. These great big space rhino things. I mean, rhinos from space. And we're on the moon! Great big space rhinos with guns on the moon. And I only came in for my bunions, look. I mean, all fixed now. Perfectly good treatment. The nurses were lovely. I said to my wife, I said I'd recommend this place to anyone, but then we end up on the moon. And did I mention the rhinos?”   
She had looked up, startled, the moment he’d started speaking. Now the only look on her face was one of cold determination.   
“Hold him.”   
The Slab moved out of the shadows behind the door and grabbed the Doctor’s arms, pinning him in place. He didn’t even try to escape. After all, that wasn’t the plan. 

Martha felt herself shaking as the Judoon marched along the corridor towards them, getting little comfort from Eris holding her hand.   
“Find the non-human. Execute.”   
Taking a breath, she spoke firmly.   
“Now listen, I know who you're looking for. She's this woman. She calls herself Florence.”   
One Judoon scanned Martha, while another scanned Eris.   
“Human. Wait. Non-human traits suspected. Non-human element confirmed. Authorise full scan. What are you? What are you?”   
Martha looked to Eris for help, but she was clearly having her own issues.   
“What did you say?!”   
“Scan shows material not of human origin. Human content. Combined with material of an unknown nature. Explain.”

The Doctor was still trying the babbling human defence.   
“Er, that, that big er machine thing. Is it supposed to be making that noise?”  
Florence was very dismissive. “You wouldn't understand.”  
“But isn't that a magnetic resonance imaging thing? Like a ginormous sort of a magnet? I did magnetics at GCSE. Well, I failed, but all the same.”  
“The magnetic setting now increased to fifty thousand Tesla.”  
“Ooo, that's a bit strong, isn't it?”  
“It'll send out a magnetic pulse that'll fry the brain stems of every living thing within two hundred and fifty thousand miles. Except for me, safe in this room.”  
“But er, hold on, hold on, I did geography GCSE. I passed that one. Doesn't that distance include the Earth?”  
She shrugged, unfazed. “Only the side facing the moon. The other half will survive. Call it my little gift.”   
He laughed, hoping it sounded nervous.  
“I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse me, I'm a little out of my depth. I've spent the past fifteen years working as a postman. Hence the bunions. Why would you do that?”  
“With everyone dead, the Judoon ships will be mine, to make my escape.”  
“No, that's weird. You're talking like you're some sort of an alien.”  
“Quite so.” 

Recalling past companions’ responses to finding out who he was, he channeled as much human shock as possible into his voice.  
“No!”  
“Oh, yes.” Florence smiled smugly.   
“You're joshing me.”  
“I am not.”  
“I'm talking to an alien? In hospital? What, has this place got an ET department?”  
“It's the perfect hiding place. Blood banks downstairs for a midnight feast, and all this equipment ready to arm myself with should the police come looking.”  
“So, those rhinos, they're looking for you?”  
She raised her hand, showing him the black cross.   
“Yes. But I'm hidden.”  
He made a noise of understanding.  
“Right. Maybe that's why they're increasing their scans.”   
Florence’s voice hardened.  
“They're doing what?”  
“Big chief rhino boy, he said, no sign of a non-human, we must increase our scans up to setting two?”   
She was now very clearly agitated.  
“Then I must assimilate again.”  
“What does that mean?”  
“I must appear to be human.”  
He shrugged - well, as much as he could when being held onto by the Slab.  
“Well, you're welcome to come home and meet the wife, and my daughter. They'd be honoured. We can have cake. Eris, my daughter, she makes a fantastic lemon cake, it’s really quite something.”  
Reaching into her handbag, Florence pulled something out.  
“Why should I have cake? I've got my little straw.”  
“Oh, that's nice. Milkshake? I like banana.”   
She drew closer, and he gulped slightly.  
“You're quite the funny man. And yet, I think, laughing on purpose at the darkness. I think it's time you found some peace. Steady him!”   
The Slab landed a swift kick in the back of his knee, and he dropped to the floor, feeling it force his head to one side to expose a good vein.   
“What are you doing?”  
“I'm afraid this is going to hurt. But if it's any consolation, the dead don't tend to remember.”  
And she made a short jabbing motion; then, the straw had hit liquid gold. 

Martha’s hand was marked with a cross, Eris’ with a single line. One Judoon addressed each of them.   
“Confirm human. Traces of facial contact with non-human. Continue the search.”   
“Confirm semi-human. Unknown species combined with human genetics. Hybrid. Continue the search.”   
They were both handed a book written in an alien language.   
“You will need this.”  
As the Judoon walked away, Martha frowned at the indiscernible characters.  
“What's that for?”   
Eris squinted at the letters, before cracking up.  
“Compensation!” 

The scene when the Judoon entered the scanner room was all kinds of suspicious. Florence and the second Slab got up quickly when the door opened, leaving the Doctor to drop to the floor. He was terribly pale. The woman gestured down at his still form with her handbag.   
“Now see what you've done. This poor man just died of fright.”   
The Judoon in the lead unholstered it’s device.   
“Scan him. Confirmation. Deceased.”  
Martha and Eris pushed through to the front, stopped by an outstretched arm.   
“No, he can't be. Let me through. Let me see him.”  
“Stop. Case closed.”   
When Eris spoke, it sounded like she was on the verge of tears.   
“Please, let me through! I’m his daughter, I have rights.”   
They let her pass, still holding Martha back, and the young medical student watched as the brunette dropped to the floor, cradling her dad’s head in her hands.   
“But it was her. She killed him. She did it. She murdered him.”  
The only word to describe the Judoon’s response was apathetic.   
“Judoon have no authority over human crime.”   
“But she's not human.”  
Florence scoffed. “Oh, but I am. I've been catalogued.”  
“But she's not! She assimi-” And then, a thought hit her. Looking down at where the Doctor lay on the floor, she saw a new look in Eris’ eyes. One that glimmered like the blade of a knife.  
“Wait a minute. You drank his blood? The Doctor's blood?”   
As she reached for one of the scanners, Florence laughed daintily.   
“Oh, I don't mind. Scan all you like.”   
There was an odd whirring sound, and one of the Judoon cocked it’s head.   
“Non-human.”  
“But, what?”  
“Confirm analysis.”   
All withdrawing the devices, the whole platoon checked her and got the same result.  
“Oh, but it's a mistake, surely. I'm human. I'm as human as they come.”   
Finally breaking through the ranks, Martha sat down next to Eris, squeezing the girl’s shoulder.   
“He gave his life so they'd find her.”   
The response she got was unexpected. A soft smile, and four whispered words.   
“He’s not gone yet.” 

The Judoon made their judgement.  
“Confirm. Plasmavore, charged with the crime of murdering the child princess of Patrival Regency Nine.”   
Florence finally dropped the sweet old lady act.  
“Well, she deserved it! Those pink cheeks and those blonde curls and that simpering voice. She was begging for the bite of a plasmavore.”  
“Then you confess?”  
“Confess? I'm proud of it! Slab, stop them!”   
It didn’t get very far before the Judoon shot the hunk of leather down.   
“Verdict, guilty. Sentence, execution.”   
She dashed behind the screen and plugged in the MRI scanner, cackling as the magnetic overload warnings started to chime.   
“Enjoy your victory, Judoon, because you're going to burn with me. Burn in hell!”   
The four closest Judoon fired, and she vanished in a cloud of ashes.   
“Case closed.”   
Martha looked up at them.  
“But what did she mean, burn with me? The scanner shouldn't be doing that. She's done something.”   
By now, electrical fronds were dancing all over the scanner, and the Judoon had plenty to scan.   
“Scans detect lethal acceleration of monomagnetic pulse.”   
Eris’ eyes widened. “That’ll be lethal!”   
“Our jurisdiction has ended. Judoon will evacuate.”   
Martha gasped.   
“What? You can't just leave it. What's it going to do?”   
“All units withdraw.”   
The sound of hundreds of heavy boots marching their way out of the corridors confirmed her fears, and she shot out into the corridor after them.   
“You can't go! That thing's going to explode and it's your fault!”   
“Martha!” 

At the cry from Eris, she returned to the scanner room. The girl seemed remarkably calm.   
“What do you think you understand better - that MRI scanner, or CPR?”   
“Definitely CPR.”   
“That settles it then. I’ll try and figure out how to stop the electromagnetic pulse.”   
Kneeling beside the Doctor, Martha took a breath, and did what she did best.   
“One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five.” After two cycles on the left side of his chest, she remembered something. “Two hearts! One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five.”   
Breathing was getting more difficult by the second, like the air was turning to treacle in her throat. A quick glance up at the safety screen showed that Eris wasn’t faring much better, blinking in confusion as the lack of oxygen affected her brain. Taking one last breath, Martha leant down and exhaled with all her might. It finally worked, and the Doctor coughed a little before sitting bolt upright, looking about the room wildly. Unable to keep her head up any more, Martha laid down, feeling incredibly exhausted.   
“The scanner. She did something....”  
Understanding, the Doctor crawled over to the scanner controls to see Eris pawing at the wiring, having run out of ideas to fix it. She looked back at him, helpless.   
“What do we do?”   
He reached for the sonic - then remembered what had happened earlier, and groaned.   
“Sod it.”  
Reaching for the nearest two cables, he used every last bit of his strength to pull them apart. The power audibly wound down and the electrical waves stopped running all over the hospital. Helping Eris to her feet and making sure she was stable, the two of them supported Martha between them and led her towards the nearest window, her feet dragging along the ground.   
The Judoon ships were leaving, and the Doctor found himself muttering under his breath.  
“Come on, come on, come on, come on, please. Come on, Judoon, reverse it.”   
And then, impossibly, rain started to fall against the windows. Eris managed a grin, patting Martha on the back.   
“It's raining, Martha. It's raining on the moon.”  
A flash. Darkness. 

Martha wasn’t quite sure how she’d got there. She'd regained consciousness, alone in a corridor, just as a swarm of paramedics burst into the hospital, moving to check on everyone. Lots of the patients and staff had been taken to other hospitals already. She was sat in the back of an ambulance, half watching the TV crew that was interviewing one of her colleagues. Her head hurt, her throat felt like it was lined with broken glass, and there was a slight ringing in her ears. She could vaguely hear what was being said in front of the cameras.   
“I told them I represented the human race. I told them, you can't do that. I said, we have rights.”   
Then there was a blur of movement, and she felt herself being dragged into a fierce hug.   
“Martha! Oh, God! I thought you were dead! What happened? It was so weird, because the police wouldn't say. They didn't have a clue. And I tried phoning. Mum's on her way, but she can't get through. They've closed off all the roads.” Tish was babbling as she helped Martha to ehr feet, barely letting go of her. As her sister waffled on, she glanced out at the street - to see the Doctor and Eris! They were walking with their arms linked towards a tall blue box marked ‘police’.   
“There's thousands of people trying to get in. The whole city's come to a halt. And Dad phoned, because it's on the news and everything. He was crying.”   
A firetruck whizzed past, and in that short space of time, the strange pair and the blue box had vanished. Tish was still talking, guiding them around broken bollards and piles of pavement.   
“Oh, what a mess. What happened? I mean, what really happened? Where were you?”

Later that same evening, Martha found herself almost wishing that she’d been stuck up on the moon until the next morning. As horrible as the experience up there had been, at least she hadn’t had to deal with her parents - or her dad’s girlfriend, who was currently storming out of Leo’s 21st birthday party in an incredibly short, sparkly dress, looking pretty riled.   
“I am not staying in there to be insulted!”   
Her dad was chasing after the woman.   
“She didn't mean it, sweetheart. She was just saying you look healthy.”   
Her mum and siblings had followed them out, and weren’t doing much to help the situation.   
“No, I did not. I said orange.”  
“Clive, that woman is disrespecting me. She's never liked me.”  
“Oh, I can't think why, after you stole my husband.”  
“I was seduced. I'm entirely innocent. Tell her, babe.”  
“And then she has a go at Martha, practically accused her of making the whole thing up.”   
Martha winced, wishing that she hadn’t been dragged into things.   
“Mum, I don't mind. Just leave it.”   
Annalise rolled her eyes.   
“Oh. I've been to the moon! As if. They were drugged. It said so on the news.”  
Francine Jones seemed to think this was the funniest thing she’d ever heard.   
“Since when did you watch the news? You can't handle Quiz Mania.”  
Tish and Leo stood slightly behind their mum, making snide comments.   
“Annalise started it. She did. I heard her.”  
“Tish, don't make it worse.”  
“Oh, come off it, Leo. What did she buy you? Soap. A seventy five pence soap.”   
With a flapping move very similar to that of a toddler having a tantrum, Annalise stomped away.   
“Oh, I'm never talking to your family again!”   
This was exactly what her mum had been aiming for.  
“Oh, stay. Have a night out with Clive.”  
Clive himself was far more irate. “Don't you dare. I'm putting my foot down. This is me, putting my foot down.”   
Except it wasn’t, and he ran off to follow his girlfriend.   
The rest of the group outside descended into chaos.   
“Doing it for the last twenty five years!”  
“Please.”  
“Clive, stop, now!”  
“Mum, don't. I-”  
As her mum and siblings ran after her dad, Martha sighed deeply and stared up into the night sky. But as she looked down again, something caught her eye - a figure. Turning to look properly, she saw the Doctor standing just behind a corner, watching her with a knowing look on his face. Seeing that he’d been spotted, he walked away, and Martha couldn’t help but follow. 

She followed him down the alley, a little apprehensive at his choice of location, and watched as he stopped next to the large blue police box she’d seen earlier.   
“I went to the moon today.”  
He raised an eyebrow. “A bit more peaceful than down here.”   
One of the police box’s doors creaked open a little, and Eris stepped out to join them, closing it behind her before Martha could peer inside. There was a wry smile on her face.   
“Well, it’s hardly ever peaceful with you around. I’m not sure how I cope.”   
As he pulled a face at the girl, Martha laughed.   
“You never even told me who you are.”  
“The Doctor.”  
“What sort of species? It's not every day I get to ask that.”  
“I'm a Time Lord.”  
“Right! Not pompous at all, then. And what about you? That scanner thing said semi-human, what’s that supposed to mean?”   
This time Eris’ smile was tinged with frustration.   
“It’s a long story. I’ll explain later. Anyway, Dad had something that he wanted to ask you.”  
Following a swift nudge in the ribs, he remembered.   
“Ah, yeah. Well, I just thought since you saved my life and I've got a brand new sonic screwdriver which needs road testing, you might fancy a trip.”   
It took Martha a second to figure out what he was actually saying.  
“What, into space?”   
Eris nodded.   
“But I can't. I've got exams. I've got things to do. I have to go into town first thing and pay the rent, I've got my family going mad.”   
The Doctor tapped the doors gently.   
“If it helps, I can travel in time as well.”   
Martha scoffed.   
“Get out of here.”  
“I can.”  
“Come on now, that's going too far.”  
“I'll prove it.”   
He held the door open for Eris before going inside himself. Then, her jaw almost scraping the ground, Martha watched as the box slowly faded away, and then vanished altogether. In sheer disbelief, she stepped forwards, a hand extended in front of her, reaching into the space where the box had been. Perhaps it was a trick done with mirrors, or film cameras. But no - when she reached out, her hand passed right through the air as it would normally! As if nothing had ever been there at all. The same sound that had accompanied the vanishing rose and swelled in the air again, this time with a strong breeze. Stepping back, she couldn’t withhold her gasp as the ship appeared again.   
The Doctor opened the door, holding his tie in one hand, the top button of his shirt undone. Eris appeared beside him, wearing the same long scarf that Martha had seen earlier that morning.  
“Told you.”  
She shook her head. “No, but, that was this morning. Did you? Oh, my God. You can travel in time. But hold on. If you could see me this morning, why didn't you tell me not to go into work?”   
The Doctor put on a serious face.   
“Crossing into established events is strictly forbidden. Except for cheap tricks.”   
“And that's your spaceship?” Martha walked towards it, admiring the panelling.   
“It's called the Tardis. Time and Relative Dimension in Space.”  
She raised an eyebrow. “Your spaceship's made of wood. There's not much room. We'd be a bit intimate. All three of us…”  
Pushing the door open, the Doctor left the entrance clear for her.   
“Take a look.” 

She didn’t even get a full metre into the ship before backing out to the alleyway again.   
“No, no, no.”   
Eris and the Doctor stood, smirking, as they heard the familiar pattern of feet pacing around the outside of the Tardis.   
“But it's just a box. But it's huge. How does it do that? It's wood. It's like a box with that room just rammed in.” She ran back in, gazing at the space in wonder  
“It's bigger on the inside.”  
She didn’t notice the Doctor, behind her, mouthing the words along with her, before piping up.  
“Is it? I hadn't noticed.”   
Eris shut the doors, and clapped her hands together.   
“Right then, let's get going.”   
As the duo bounded towards the console and started setting the flight path, Martha frowned. The control room seemed awfully big for only two people.   
“But is there a crew, like a navigator and stuff? Where is everyone?”   
He shrugged.   
“Just us.”   
“All on your own?”  
“Well, sometimes we have guests. We mean some friends, travelling alongside. We had - there was recently, a friend of ours. Rose, her name was. Rose. And we were together. Anyway.”   
He sniffed, turning his attention to the scanner. Eris’ smile had dropped a little, but she was doing her best to hold it in place.   
“Where is she now?”  
“With her family. Happy. She's fine. She's. Not that you're replacing her.”  
Martha held her hands up in self defense. “Never said I was.”  
His tone became stern. “Just one trip to say thanks. You get one trip, then back home. I'd rather it was just us.”   
She raised an eyebrow.   
“You're the one that kissed me.”  
“That was a genetic transfer.”  
“And if you will wear a tight suit.” Making an attempt to sidle closer, she couldn’t hide the wave of disappointment that rose as he backed away.   
“Now, don't!”  
“And then travel all the way across the universe just to ask me on a date.”  
“Stop it.”   
Leaning over the other side of the console, Eris had to fake a coughing fit to disguise her giggles. She hadn’t seen him this flustered in a long time.   
Martha finally got a little nearer to him, and looked him up and down.   
“For the record? I'm not remotely interested. I only go for humans.”   
He nodded.   
“Good. Well, then. Close down the gravitic anomaliser, fire up the helmic regulator. And finally, the hand brake. Ready?”   
“No.”   
The Doctor grinned. “Off we go. Eris?”   
She winked at Martha. “Gotcha.”   
And she threw the last lever. The Tardis dematerialised with a harsh jolt, and the three of them had to hang onto the console for dear life.   
“Blimey, it's a bit bumpy!” Martha found it hard to look either of her new friends in the eye, the place was shaking that much.   
The Doctor extended a hand.   
“Welcome aboard, Miss Jones.”   
“It's my pleasure, Mr Smith.” She accepted it with a smile, which widened as Eris went for a fistbump.  
“Nice to have you along for the ride!”


End file.
